I was forced to go to service while visiting my father for the summer about three years ago. Laughed at a woman while she claims to have caught the "holy ghost".
Anyone else want to share their amusing experiences?
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Weirdest experience in a church | Forum
TheSinisterHand
Aug 18 '12
I grew up Pentecostal. Seeing people yelling, falling on the floor, convulsing, speaking in tongues, was par for the coarse.
timishardcore
Aug 18 '12
I'm curious if anybody heard about "spiritual warfare" and is able to elaborate...
I can elaborate on this for you for sure, although I have not seen this "Circle" the houses idea I do have an understanding of this concept.
Spiritual warfare or Warfare prayer is the spiritual equivalent of Blitzkrieg...The idea is to soften up the underbelly of Demonic stronghold on a person,area ect so that there is an opening for the gospel to be heard.
TheSinisterHand
Aug 19 '12
If you ask a Pencecostal, they ARE the orthodox one's. It's the rest of Chrisianity that has abandoned these practices. Apparently, batshit crazy was the norm in 1st Century Christianity.
I grew up Pentecostal. Seeing people yelling, falling on the floor, convulsing, speaking in tongues, was par for the coarse.
Oh, yes.. But I guess for the Pentecostal its considered something good, while for orthodox christians it considered something bad (such state of being)...
Mortician
Aug 19 '12
When I was a around 10 or 11 I was at Methodist Church with my family, and the pastors had invited this homeless man to come one Sunday. When he came up to the alter for the "body & blood of Christ" he also handed him a new pair of shows,jeans and T-shirt. After the service my Mom herd a lot of the older members of the congregation complaining about the homeless man and did how they did not think he should have been there....being in a Church and having just spent a long hour listening about Jesus and love ect. ect....I found some of these peoples words to be very odd.
Another time I was in about 18-19 in Alabama visiting my half sisters. There Mother had turned into a "Holy Roller" and I went with them to this Church for I wanted to see what went on there to make her change her way. It's a Non-denominational Church - While there a women also got the "Holy Spirit" and started running laps around the church laughing and screaming....even more strange than that, was no one seemed to notice...It must be a regular thing at that Church.
Another time I was in about 18-19 in Alabama visiting my half sisters. There Mother had turned into a "Holy Roller" and I went with them to this Church for I wanted to see what went on there to make her change her way. It's a Non-denominational Church - While there a women also got the "Holy Spirit" and started running laps around the church laughing and screaming....even more strange than that, was no one seemed to notice...It must be a regular thing at that Church.
FlagranteDelicto
Aug 20 '12
Weirdest experience in a church...this one seems pretty easy.
Enjoying myself.
Admin SammieSam12398
Aug 20 '12
My weirdest experience was the first time my parents took my sister and I to church. I was 5 and Katie was 4, and the only reason my mom took us was because some family member was making a fuss about us not going to church. Of course, my mom didn't think to explain to us what religion was, or who jesus and god are. So we're sitting in sunday school, and the people keep talking about this jesus dude and I just keep getting more and more confused. I raised my hand in front of the whole class and asked Whats jesus?? They tried to explain, but that confused me more. I kept asking question after question until the people in charge told me to shut up and sit down.
The other kids made fun of me and called me a devil lover. All I could think was, whats a devil?!
Berserker
Aug 20 '12
My last time I was in a church was for my friends wake.Since I did not wear a hat out of respect I just went with my horns out....oh my...the stares I recieved from the priest was amazing.
Admin JasonKing
Sep 11 '12
I was slain in the Spirit once with a laying of hands/slap to the forehead. While it was happening in slo-mo, I remember thinking to myself two things, this is silly, but I'll go with it, and, I hope those mothefuckers catch me.
JK
JK
desiccant
Sep 11 '12
When I was a teenager I had a girlfriend whose mom was a holy roller, so I started going to church so that she would hate me less and let my girlfriend spend more time with me. Anyway, her mom made some sort of speech every Sunday, and one time she said "I want the love of Jesus to rain down upon my face, and I want him to fill me where I am empty."
Me and my friend couldn't help but bust out laughing, I think her husband even cracked a smile at that one...
I also got baptized for the same reason, and I'm meant to change into this white robe while this old man watches. I refused to remove my boxers in front of him, so after the baptism I had to sit through the rest of the service in wet, itchy underwear.
Me and my friend couldn't help but bust out laughing, I think her husband even cracked a smile at that one...
I also got baptized for the same reason, and I'm meant to change into this white robe while this old man watches. I refused to remove my boxers in front of him, so after the baptism I had to sit through the rest of the service in wet, itchy underwear.
Coffinpuppet
Sep 11 '12
I frequent a local snake handlers church around my house. I go just to see if someone is going to get bit in the face by the rattlesnakes. This past year, one down!
Asmedious
Nov 15 '12
One time I had to go to a Catholic service with two coworkers and some of the patients we took care of.
There was a new priest there that day and he was asking some general religious questions from the congregation as well as asking about specific things in the bible to see how we interpreted things.
It seemed as if I was the only one who knew the right answers, or was the only one with enough balls to call them out.
I did it mainly to fuck with my religious coworkers because they knew about my nonreligious stance.
After about the fourth time giving the answer that the priest was looking for I figured that I'd better stop before he called me up to the altar or some weird shit. That would have taken more balls then I have.
I'm not going to say that I wasn't nervous about calling out answers like that in such a setting, but it was sure worth it to see the amazed look on the faces of my coworkers.
evilclown
Nov 15 '12
I've been at a Charismatic Church during the dark years of my life. 'They''d pull the same woman up on stage EVERY week, talk about Jesus, then fold into a predictatory posture, fall on the floor, and act like an Epilipsy victim. So predictable, was so pathetic.
VanillaStoned
Nov 15 '12
When I was seven I was at my grandparent's church, and they did this thing where the pastor would say "If anyone feels the spirit of Christ in them, please come up to the front." So, one person would stand up and walk up there, and according to group psychology, another person would "feel Christ" and go up, and the process would repeat. I love the subtle use of underhanded psychology to reinforce/brainwash Christianity in the minds of the congregation.
LucyLovesPain
Nov 18 '12
well.. an ex and I went into a back room during the service. we got naked very quickly and got on the floor. He said it wasn't his first time, it wasn't mine. I sat there for about 5 minutes with him dry rubbing his tiny dick on the side of my leg because he didn't know what to do with it. I started laughing and then pretended to hear someone coming, and left as quick as I could. He's fucking stupid.
The Forum post is edited by LucyLovesPain Nov 18 '12
XiaoGui17
Nov 20 '12
I have limited experience in churches, mostly for people's weddings and funerals, but there were a few times beyond that.
My parents sent me to day care at Berkeley United Methodist Church when I was 6, because it was right across the street from my elementary school. I came home after my first day and said, "They talk about this guy 'God,' there. They made him up, just like Stahr Ryuji (my imaginary friend)."
Once the spillover for AP testing at my high school ended up in Bethany Lutheran Church. (This church-near-my-school thing was typical. There was a church every two blocks in my neighborhood.) My classmate looked over at me and said, "Wow. Vanessa in a church. I'll bet this is a first." "No." "I'm afraid this place is gonna catch on fire."
Falynnia
Nov 21 '12
My only experience of this type is not funny. At the funeral of my paternal grandfather, a fucking evangelical church, a woman started screaming that we were going to burn in hell if you do not join their church. I was only 13 years old, damn it! This woman made me cry even more, same for my younger brother. Her screams were like aggression. This is an event that I left in a remote corner of my memory thereafter. I am reminded, several years later, when the matter was discussed during a family home evening. Even if it's long, I feel a lot of rage because of this event. It was a real trauma.
Fortunately, my late grandfather was the only person around me to be part of this band of fools.
Fortunately, my late grandfather was the only person around me to be part of this band of fools.
666menace666
Mar 3
I'm raised in a catholic family that would go to church every Sunday, even though I never really believed in god, but my parents don't know because they'd fucking freak. So ever since the age of 11, I officially decided I didn't believe it. My most awkward time in a church was when I was 15 being confirmed.
