Breaking Mormonism, Did I go too far? from Radanarchy's blog

Hello to whomever reads this post.

I was raised Mormon, for the first 12 years of my life it was genuinely all I knew. I'm 18 now and can proudly say that I've been out of that for 2 years at this point. It wasn't the brightest transition of my life, it involved a lot of drugs, alcohol, suicide attempts and general not so great stuff. I've grown from that and moved on but my very religious family has not. My mistakes are held over my head, used against me and brought up any time the opportunity presents itself. That used to bother me, and at this point I've almost completely cut myself off from my family.

Turning 18 allowed me to begin to express myself in other ways, i.e tattoos.

My tattoos aren't what you'd call family friendly.

I have 10 now, but the most controversial are the Demon on my arm, The word Hellboy across my wrist, a skeleton pope on my leg (where are all my Ghost fans at ;) ) and a naked fairy on my arm.

I'm not an angry person, it's just how I express myself. I'm not bitter towards the church, if anything it brings relief and a certain calmness when I get these anti-religious tattoos. My family definitely does not approve of them (save for my Father and Step Mother)

I know I did this to myself, and I LOVE my tattoos, but the rejection just kind of sucks. I love my family, but because of my different beliefs it doesn't feel reciprocated. They don't even know I'm a Satanist, doesn't even seem worth it to tell them, they already dislike me enough.

I do not regret my tattoos, but it does make my heart ache for what they caused between me and my family members. I'm trying real hard to stick to me, and my authenticity even if I'm standing alone.

Ironic in a way, I remember a church lesson about "Standing Alone" As a witness of God or some shit....and here I am...doing the opposite.

Anyways, that's my life.

One of the reasons I joined this in the first place was to find others like I am, so if you can relate, or just wanna be buddies, send me a message :)

Loooove and peace and all those good vibes

Erika xx

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Aug 18 '18

Dark Enlightenment

Out of curiosity has anyone given you the, "You're gonna regret getting those" concerning satanic tattoos? Do they act all pompous like it's as stupid as getting a lover's name?

Aug 18 '18

Radanarchy

@darkenlightenment YES! They do, well I get the regret speech for all my tattoos i get. Symbolic or not, but at this point my family is convinced I'm going to have a "coming unto Christ" moment in my life. So I've been told that by doing this I'm "ruining my chances of salvation" but yeah, it happens@darkenlightenment YES! They do, well I get the regret speech for all my tattoos i get. Symbolic or not, but at this point my family is convinced I'm going to have a "coming unto Christ" mom...See more

TITS

Aug 21 '18

Obscura

Hey girl, I really loved your post - you are very strong, and I can only imagine the struggle of being raised in such a restrictive faith. Regarding tattoos, I have Samael's sigil on my forearm in a very visible place (my inner wrist). Most people will think your tattoos are cool. My friends are covered in skulls and Jormungands and literal prison tattoos so yours are rather tame. Also Hail Ghost!Hey girl, I really loved your post - you are very strong, and I can only imagine the struggle of being raised in such a restrictive faith. Regarding tattoos, I have Samael's sigil on my forearm in a v...See more

Aug 22 '18

MatthewJ1

I remember someone suggesting to me years ago that piercing the body and getting ear rings, nipple rings, nose rings, etc., was a way of laying claim to one’s own body. Seemed like a reasonable sort of claim to make.

Getting tattoos seems to me to work in a slightly different way. Tattooing seems to be a way of writing your own story on your own body in the form of images and symbols etc.

It is like: here is my story, or me, in images and symbols and it is a story I believe in strongly enough and wish to assert enough to get it tattooed permanently on my own body for all time. Pain be damned – here is my story displayed on my very own body, the body that I express my life through, that is my life.

Mormonism is just another type of control.

I appreciate your conundrum: I want my loved ones to appreciate my story and love me, but the way I am expressing my story on my body and the content of my story are not accepted and I am sad.

Mormonism is just another type of control.

Imagine if you told them that your core story is Satanism. I mean the tattoos you have sort of illustrate some themes which are Satanic in character. What if you displayed that key story to the whole world on your body and made your family aware of that story?

I guess either they accept the story or else you need to find another group of people who are proud to live it with you. Either way: don’t hurt yourself, cause that definitely ain’t Satanism.I remember someone suggesting to me years ago that piercing the body and getting ear rings, nipple rings, nose rings, etc., was a way of laying claim to one’s own body. Seemed like a reasonable sort o...See more

Aug 22 '18

It's some pretty weak-sauce that those who abide in covenant of Abraham would have a thing to say about body modification one way or another. (Tattoos are bad: we must return our bodies in tact to our maker, but genital mutilation is a must? The old testament is a comedy, and best read as such). Personally, I have tatoos, and not a single one of them are very conspicuous - namely because they are for me - reminders to myself: some scars you chose. Some you don't get to. In that respect what others make of them is tertiary. That they are inconspicuous to begin with, though, already necessitates a level of intimacy that is well-beyond apprehensions regarding an approval that was never asked for in the first place. They are reminders to myself. Lastly, without wanting to wax poetic - they don't hurt nearly as much as people claim. At worst they hurt only somewhat and in this sort of transient way that is nothing as compared to what they are there to signify in the first place. It's not about pain, at least for me it's about permanence... very few things are, and the things that are are for so only in my eyes. They are, in that way, as selfish as any other form of self-harm. I don't see anything wrong with this, either. Pain is a way to remember. How I learn, but what is most important (to me - why I have any at all) is that these signify things that will not and cannot be undone. What I will take with me to the grave. Answerable to only by myself to myself.It's some pretty weak-sauce that those who abide in covenant of Abraham would have a thing to say about body modification one way or another. (Tattoos are bad: we must return our bodies in tact to our...See more

Mar 4

Andy Mohr

I don't know your family, but I think this rejection must be for the things you do and think, not for you. And maybe they link your mistakes to your ideas. Be patient and let time heal your relationship. Once you find your own way, living a happy and achieving your goals in life, the doors to reconciliation will appear again. About your question in the title...No, I don't think you've gone too far, as that's all normal for your age. I really think Mormonism sometimes go too far....heheheI don't know your family, but I think this rejection must be for the things you do and think, not for you. And maybe they link your mistakes to your ideas. Be patient and let time heal your relationsh...See more

Edited Mar 4 Show edit history

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By	Radanarchy
Added	Aug 17 '18

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