Hello SIN. It's been awhile since I've posted, I know. I thought some of my earlier posts were lacking in quality, So I took a much needed hiatus. But now I'm back. I wanted to wait until I had something to say, and I do. For those of us that grew up before social media and saw it rise to become what it is, we knew a very different world. A world where what you said or how you looked didn't matter as much as what you did. Before I was labeled, marked, and cut out as a "troll" or as a person to be ignored and hated and put on that list, I had a good time. I had such a good time in fact, I think it deserves to be recorded somewhere. I was supposed to be a nice kid from church camp and marry a fat girl and raise brats. I rebelled, fought, and spat and kicked, and never accepted the omega position in life. I used tricks, violence, lies, manipulation and everything else. I've had a small total of 12 girlfreinds in my life, I've been in 8 bands, lived in 4 states and 3 countries, and the internet couldn't do a damn thing about it. I was even popular at times, and admired. None of this was supposed to happen had certain powers in my life got their way.
In life, I always went with 2 main principles. number 1 is if people do it to you, do it back harder. Number 2 was me and mine first. To say I've never cared what people thought of me is not exactly accurate. I did for a time. I maintained a persona, but I didn't like being fake 100 percent of the time. As a known cheat and liar, I actually developed a very clear appreciation for the truth. Indeed one might say, being born into and participating in a world of disgusting lies and fraud, I very much strived for something real in life.
You see, I knew I was at a disadvantage from the beginning. I knew I would always be fighting uphill and nothing was ever going to be easy. Before there was facebook, or twitter, and before everyone got tracked and recorded, I was the greatest dork in disguise of all time.
The social order we have now is based on an internet social credit system. I have heard people say that social credit is coming, but I disagree. It's been here for years now. I know this because I used to play the character of a popular/good looking person and fooled just about everyone. I went from bottom of the barrel nerd, to smashing the whole highland highschool cheerleading team in 2 months just by wearing some clothes and playing guitar in a band called the amityville horror. Had I attempted this just 5 years later I would've been exposed and ridiculed. But that's not what happened. I got to enjoy every piece of life for awhile. I dare say for awhile I felt accepted and happy. If you are seething with rage right now, good.
Even before the internet, before I knew the things I know now, I knew I was destined for obscurity and an uninteresting life. I felt it and resented it with every part of who I am. I vowed at an early age to hack life, get what I want, get it as cheap as possible, and to never stop. I've held true to that.
Even after the internet pigeonholed me, I still continue to enjoy life. I still have a social life, and even a sex life. All things I was supposed to never have or experience. So how do you do this you might ask? It isn't easy, but heres a short guide for others looking to escape the nerd box and really live:
1. people are stupid. popular people are really stupid, so donate alot of time to learning how to impersonate an idiot. Nobody likes a know it all, as a matter of fact most people hate it when you know anything.
2. Never share your true feelings, and lie about absolutely everything until you're with people you trust. Even then guard your heart. The more truth people know about you is more ammo for them to attack you with.
3. Learn to be selfish, and have no empathy unless it benefits you or your loved ones.
4. decide who your loved ones are in life and stick to them like glue. Real freinds are a treasure that is priceless, and you will need help to survive in this world.
5. Never fear a quick death. dying fast in a dangerous place with your heart racing is better than slowly wasting in a hospital bed. You're going to be forgotten anyway, but also remember to sell your one life dearly, because it's the only thing that will ever truly be yours.
If you found any part of this offensive, good. Fuck you, I've had a great life and you can't do anything about it. I already won. I already have the memories. I defeated the christians, the feminists, the idiot herd, my own family. None of them were able to force me down into the place they wanted me. I win. I'm going to keep winning. And you can too.
At some point a few of us who were using IRC in a very small, yet tight-knit, group decided that Facebook might offer an opportunity in that it accommodated chat there in groups, and this might get more traffic than we were seeing in Dalnet. We created a joint account none of us were concerned with losing and shared a login and password amongst us.
Through time this seemed to yield potential. Chat seemed possible and might attract 15-20 or more people simultaneously with only a few technical glitches. At times people were added without providing permission, and the technical idiocy of Facebook provided for absolutely zero (0) moderation or expulsion, making it extremely tentative and restricted to the mature. Gaining group members we soon found out that the only groups *capable* of sustaining the chat feature were those with less than 30 or 40 members maximum. This immediately killed the possibility of using the same group and chatting using it.
Once the chat feature became problematic, enthusiasm for the project began to wane amongst participants. As the weeks and months wore on internecine squabbles erupted and from what we could tell there were reports to Facebook and these compromised a series of accounts of those who became the targets. We could never tell, initially or eventually, from the outside whether someone was having problems with their account due to technical limitations and who was receiving a challenge to their account from Facebook admin, asking for identification or proof of being "Samael Deathbringer" or whatever pseudonym the person was using.
By slow and incremental portions almost everyone began to either resurface with a new, legal name, or simply reappear with a new account and a new, or the same, nickname they had been using before. The technical means of keeping people together as friends or group members or whatnot while all this was happening was somewhat tenuous, and people became more and more quiet within Facebook as a result. Fewer and fewer of our group continued to use the shared account, until pretty much i was left with it.
At that point i decided to see what i might do with it. I had my legal name account, and was exploring the ins and outs of that to good effect. I re-assigned the name of the group Satanist account and quickly learned that there were only so many *times* that this could be done (maybe once or twice more after exploring). Not only this, it wouldn't even ALLOW my Satanic initiated name (either "Troll" or "Towelhead"), so i was stuck with trying to get a variation on my title, winding up with 'Grand Mufti Satanist', all of which apparently passed their mechanical filters.
I then set about issuing friend requests to dozens and dozens of people: anyone with the name 'LaVey', anyone with 'Satan' in their name, etc., and it was only after about the first 40 or 50 that i began to get challenges via the Facebook system that i "might not be using the account as was intended". I discontinued and tried the same thing the next day or a few days later and had similar effect. I built it up to something like 1400 Friends and then it began giving me regular captchas, so i stopped that and instead began to explore its chat feature.
I began to add hundreds of people to chat without asking them and seeing what would happen. There were many who simply remove themselves from the "discussion", some who were very happy to be there and commenced to chatting away, and some who bitterly complained at being dumped there without asking. Some made noise, others began to converse in very interesting ways amongst us.
Eventually it became obvious that chats like this didn't last long and, while we could have a sustained engagement of this type, inevitably a bunch of us would be compromised and our accounts removed and so those who knew one another couldn't really sustain being members of it. The chat was truly a bust, and this after i had abandoned IRC and Dalnet to devote a bunch of time to analyzing and exploring Facebook.
Meanwhile SIN and other boards were going through upheavals and revolutions, and we would occasionally get word from Zach about it. In Aug of last year i heard from him and had to re-sign-up because he'd lost control or the whole thing had been hacked. I dutifully and loyally re-created the Troll account after all that history which had gone before, and posted the 'Triumphant Return' essay which had become my herald upon again returning (prior after having again received a booting from the board, now upon the board itself returning!).
After months i was pretty much the lone standing of us who hadn't been relegated to a legal name account or departed to realms elsewhere. I had joined numerous groups, wrestled with a batch of interested Satanists and quasi-Satanists, Dark Pagans, etc., creating numerous groups, taking over some after they'd been abandoned, seeing some of them set from Public to Closed and from Closed to Secret heavily restricting the likelihood of being found without advertizing.
After some 2-3 years at least of this kind of activity (almost entirely separate from my first account), Facebook finally caught up with me and challenged the Grand Mufti Satanist name, requesting it be changed, and i changed it to 'Satanist Grand Mufti' and wondered how they would possibly leave it untouched. For another 6 months or so i bolstered the groups and pages that i owned with that account by co-owning them with my original account, just in case, watching numerous of my friends lose accounts because of their pseudonyms (mostly Satanists and Neopagans) and sure that that account would be doomed but i'd make my best effort to retain it.
Sure enough some 3.5-4 years into its use i finally got the challenge i was expecting demanding an ID. I examined their rules, which stated that if you had a piece of correspondence and a business card with your name on them, then this would be acceptable proof of identity. I spent the $15 to have a minimal set of business cards with 'Satanist Grand Mufti' on them with my photo and email address, sent myself some mail which arrived without a very heavy cancellation, scanned them both and sent them in for proof.
Perhaps needless to say, despite their rules including this, they did NOT accept this as a name, and froze the account. I then set into the next phase of my plan (which i had only barely prepared to implement -- my efforts were somewhat half-hearted). I designed a means of recreating an account using a RTF file with links to all the friends that i cared to reproduce, plus links to all groups to which i wished to belong, and then used this with different email addresses successively to recreate the Satanist Grand Mufti named account. I got this down to a 15 minute process!
So then i proceeded to watch as the Facebook folks put my IP on a more and more brief watch and hand-refroze the account with less and less intervening time until the last couple were 2 days and about 4 hours. At that point (May of 2015) i gave the whole project up and re-set the pages of Troll Towelhead to operate as my Satanist outlet, noticing a huge decrease in my involvement amongst actual Satanists. I just got the repeat Christians wanting to sell their souls.
Since then i've been busy, and intended to once again set out into the internet to find out whether any of these boards were alive. I did find SIN immediately (someone posted a Facebook ad for the New Testament Satanic Bible with a foreward by Zach Black which drew my interest in looking him and SIN up). That gave me incentive.
So here i have returned, and just in the last few days have resumed IRC Dalnet #satanity involvement as well, letting Venus and other regular denizens of it that this was the intention.
So hello again! :)
Troll Towelhead, Grand Mufti of Satanism
https://www.facebook.com/Tr0llT0welhead
(even pages couldn't contain 'troll' or 'towelhead'! only with zeros!!)