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Antikarmatomic's blog



This is a derivative of a conversation I had with my younger, equally as capable, fearless, and intelligent little sister which I'm only bringing up because it only just occurred to me a month or so ago that there are some youngin's about here too (by young I mean 19 well into 31) and sometimes I lose perspective. I just “assume” everyone's been around the sun as many if-not-more times than I have solely on their ability to formulate complete sentences and have to be reminded that I do have an informal fraternal instinct.


-By the age of, say 29, you're going to have accumulated a very, very long list of names who you will never speak to again. Some of them might be your own family. This shocks people as soon as they get out of high-school, and it only gets worse after college. It sort of hurts at first, but you have to learn to discard things. People are also things. You get better at it with time. Unfortunately, it does take practice. You're looking at about 5-6 years of hard slams until the callouses build up.


-Loyalty isn't an actual thing. We're not dogs. It's mostly antidepressants the human animal seeks, hunts, gathers, and uses to stay alive. Everyone is at it. It ranges from hook-ups to prescriptions. If you do not understand what I mean by this, here is a music video to illustrate https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RuQy8sKKak


-Suicide contemplation is basically pretty normal. Talking about it isn't.


-Women don't get along with each other as much a guy would suppose. We don't know the actual answer to this. It's obscured by the fact that males are a thousand times more apt to swing fists and belt it out. Maybe this is the issue, but don't quote me on this.


-People you do not expect to die might very well die in front of your own eyes tomorrow. You actually might walk into the bathroom and find your mom dead on a toilet like Elvis. That's a reality you end up living with sooner or later. You can adjust to this reality as well, but it's harder than the whole “I met a girl/boy once when I was 23 and it ended bad”


-Stabbing people is only fun if it is justified and you can get away with it and you can run. It is not easy to cut people from your car... unless they are already in your car... in which case, that's a terrible way to treat a passenger and you should be ashamed.

a) Don't give rides to people you feel as if on-the-fence about doing that that to. Not ever.

b) Do work on your cardio. Aim for a 7 minute mile, bang out 4 miles in under a ½ hour, then go shower and start your day. It has so many benies.

      1. If it really bothers our conscience then pick one single charity. Donate a bit to it yeary and tell everyone else to kick rocks. There are Mosques and Churches up the street no matter where you live. Point them that way.

      2. The only thing anyone asks for is more.


  • Guns are also great, but FFS learn to aim (it's not easy). Also don't tie your name to any piece of equipment unless there are insurance purposes at work somehow. Why would anyone do otherwise?

-wear gloves a lot more.


-use and discard ASAP.


-There's an upside to every drug. The down-side is always worse.



-Unless it's your friend or attorney, go mime status. You don't “need” to talk to anyone. You do because you feel like it. Sometimes you don't. That “don't talk to strangers” instinct applies across the board no matter what.


-As soon as they say “Let it” drop it. Drop everything about it with 0 by way of hesitation. This goes through the whole range from women with men problems to men with women problems to criminality. It'll suck. No one wants to kiss an XXX amount of something good bye, but you need to learn to do that or you're going to find out real quick how snitches are made if you don't.


There is 1. 0. and null. Learn to juggle those.




It's the only direction I have to provide. Do you. Keep your eyes open and ditch whatever isn't working as quick as possible. Hanging on to it causes all sorts of problems. 

There are two legitimate definitions of it floating out there, and a another third one that doesn't really mean anything. The former two are related, but you have to have an exceptionally high IQ to grok it. The latter is a bunch of whatever.


There's what Bhattacharya nailed (if you haven't read anything by him, come back when you have): that society went all from matriarchal to patriarchal - the same thing the Book of the Law runs-through only with a sharper and less drug addled mind. Revering the feminine is and will hence-to-forth be counter-current for reasons no one really has any answers for other than that this also demarcated the shift from material / earth based cultus to the more spiritual.  You get your father's last name but why? Short of orphanage, there's never any doubt as to who your mother is. Paternity is questionable. That's the "horned god". The father who never picked up the slack. There's a lot of that as an undercurrent, I think stemming from this.


The other one is this: There is the path of law and Torah and obedience (right) and there's the path of suffering (left). This is what "free-will" costs. If you "sin", it's going to hurt, I've run the numbers and it just does. Sooner or later. 


It gets darker every mo(u)rning. 


I can't and won't speak for anyone, but the general idea is that autonomy trumps legislation. That sort of attitude is what makes you human. It's NOT antinomian. Antinomian is a faith vs works issue that leans to a sort of Pauline slant I just can't get behind. I've tried.  "Criminal" sounds better anyway.



This comes up a lot (<-fine, Albert, you win).


Not a lot of people like me. We get complaints galore about what an awful person I am to be running this site. I read some of them. 
So tell me about it! Tell me what exactly I am doing to piss you off. Let's dicuss. 
I've known worse people. 
By all known standards, I'm actually polite. Most actual Satanists would criticize how soft I am. It's a fraternal instinct. Not that we're brothers or sisters. You're not on that level, I promise. It's just a habit. I coddle. Sometimes. If you seem worth it. I enjoy watching people evolve. This is a hobby of mine. Not many people do it. They usually go away. Snuggle in their Wiccan covens, drum circles or whatever. 


So, ok. Does AK believe in / worship the devil? He doesn't. He becomes it. Namely out of boredom. Do you have hobbies? I also have hobbies. To him it's an ideal. An asymptote. A mask. An aspiration. An extreme. An idea. An impetus. An itch to scratch. Etc. That's all there is to it. Something to do. Somewhere between a philosophy and a religion. A way of going about things. Not a pleasant one. In a word: visceral. 


It is attitudinal. 

Descriptive. 


Like awful enough to probably end up in prison, but smart/quick enough for that never be a problem. Repeatedly. BAMFs. I don't think I'm the only one.


I don't believe in anything. We certainly don't push that around here. 


So if you come at me with your "LadY Astorath"s, Lilith, Azazle, or Jesus or (worse) the G-man himself. I despise you on principle alone. I think you're out of your mind and should seek professional help. I have no other way to explain it. I've been "cursed" since February. It's late September now. It won't work because it just doesn't. 


Do you know how "we" curse people? Work. Hands in the dirt work. Bury a body six (ok fine four feet) types of work. 


This is not a cult. "We're" not going to hold hands and prance around. We're going to throw rocks at each other, and it will be fun. 


"we're" also not going to do political activities. The reason that "we're" not going to do that is because its going to hurt whatever cause it is. I've done the math. It's suicidal is what that is. Prove me wrong. I promise you, if you're about any political swing, the devil is the very last thing you want to associate with it. It's a stupid idea. Moronic. If you don't see that, then chances are very high that you might be indescribably histrionic and probably don't actually care about anything but the sound of your own voice. "We" actually have a place for you. 


Anyway, it's not "devil worship" - its admiration of the___ ummm___ not-quote-unquote-good inside. If you have a different opinion, I am all ears, but I haven't heard an importation one yet. All I hear is complaining. 


I've heard nothing but womanly complaints. Educate me. Tell me why your altars mean a single thing. I don't think they do. Maybe I'm wrong. State your case. I'll listen. 


Now, the terrible people. The truly awful. Legitimately degenerate. *smirks* I like them. I like them more than the moralfags. I encourage and harvest them. The genuinely awful. 

If, for example, you think "Satanism" is about being the best that you can be: I say "join the army". Find a cause to applaud. Be all you can be. Win that trophy. That's not what I'm doing here. It's mostly visceral and somewhat sexual. Religious in a way that other religions don't want to touch. Because whether you admit it or not, your only wants of this world are sex and violence. And again, if you have better ideas I'm all ears. I haven't heard any yet. 

I'm still waiting. 


 Surprise me. 

This guy. Who is he? He's president of the Philippines. He's everything you like about Trump to the nth power. He's a lunatic in literally all the best ways. You know what he does? He just orders shabu (shabu is meth, btw) pushers killed. No trials. Absolutely not. That costs money. You wind up shot with some tape over your mouth - likely with your stash stolen. 


This crazy, demented man is my hero. I can't go a single day without stumbling upon something awesome he's done or said. And you know what's more messed up? He's actually making Manila safer! Have you been to Manila? Life is really, really cheap over there. He cleaned it up super quick. And how, you ask? Just by being a lunatic. The type of lunatic you want in positions of power. Who doesn't give a single fart about human "rights" violations. The man is awesome, and if you haven't been following him, you should start following him. He's my adopted grandfather. Totally out of his mind, but in this sort of hyper-productive way that has the gonads to threaten his own military(!) - this guy is literally my favorite person ever.


And I quote: "Incites sedition and rebellion against himself" and he's the leader of what would have been the 51st state. Pay more attention to this guy, you will not be let down. He's like a Stalin, only funnier, Catholic-ier, and also alive (somehow... I don't understand that part, either, but it's super amusing)



Finality and such. It doesn't matter as much to one who keeps in motion. Just don't give yourself the time to reconsider, wax-nostalgic. Sh!t don't even apologize. Just keep moving. Lose the notion of re-dos or do-overs. You're either going to make it or you're going to fall, and either way the end is the same - keep moving. Fell and busted your ass? Wipe that scowl of your face. Keep moving. Land it with authority? Wipe that smile off your your face. Keep moving. 


Gravity won't defy itself. 


"can't just go skating through life, son"

"I can and should"

Amaroli, it's called. Well___ that's how I learned of it. What struck me about it, though, wasn't its dubious health benefits at all. What struck me about it was how repulsive I at first found the practice. 


All the other mudras, shatkarmas, whatever - were met with a "yeah. sure, fine." - it's yoga. The body can do a ton of things one wouldn't expect if you treat it like the cadaver that it is, and there's value to this. Swallowing a piece of cloth while holding one end to clean out my esophagus is one thing. I am my own well-oiled gun in this regard. So too it goes with the warm water up the butt. The tongue scraping. Neti pots. etc. Think "clean the cadaver" and you get the gist. 


The piss drinking. Ah. That took a while. That was one of those "yeah, everything but *that*" type of deals. Piss smells like piss, and the health benefits seem... eh... unlikely. I still don't buy into them. 


What it was was that I saw a hang-up, and hang-ups are the things you want to probe. Those are the territory markers. 
"Well why not drink your own pee? You do literally everything else *but* that... and even the butt stuff is kind of weird. Besides, it's yours and it is sterile"
"but it's gross and it smells!"


"Fucking Nancy"


So I peed into a cup, and took a sip. It was warm. It tasted not at all like it smelled. It tasted simply like the sea only less salty. It reminded me of home.


  *turns out you spend the first nine months of your life swimming in your mother's proto-pee. It's pee. "Amniotic" is just a polite way of saying it. Leave the mysteries of Uranus to the cryptically and poetically inclined - we know what's what. 


So now I do this every morning, but not for the reasons one might think:


I do not stand-by any health claims. As far as I'm concerned it is still toxic. 


What I do stand by is this: that if you start your day downing a gulp of your own pee, no matter what happens - anything at all - it cannot possibly get any worse. Know this. Do this. Go forth into the world. 


Start every day from the bottom. Staring at the bottom of a glass of your own pee. It only gets better by noon.



50th anniversary SB revised - ya' know what? Whatever. 




But what a load of shit that this is what we pay for. That his most transparent revisions, manufactured crisis', MindWar, Mindblahwhatever, regarding a fairly unimportant subculture that proudly castigated themselves is all we have to show for our psychological warfare department is bananas!


If that's the case - if he's the face of fancy degrees and PSYOPS at its finest -this nation is royally screwed and should be ashamed he was ever on the payroll. 

Having gotten the start-from-non-elevated-planes phase basically mastered, you proceed with a new approach. Start from the top. The the same top, relatively-speaking, you've made it to from the bottom countless times before. 


It "should be" transitive, I remember thinking with the tail parked against the coping, staring still, staring down from already familiar heights but from perspective of a stillness with not a single iota of precious momentum I clung to once like a crucifix to carry with me. It isn't transitive. Working your way up to this level is one thing, "gathering" momentum is how you learn to navigate the curve - form a neutral and coddling middle-ground. Falling into it is a whole 'nother thing. 


Pump. Up. Touch. Push. Down. Pause. Pump. Up. Touch (burn momentum and flare - pick a trick). Down. That's how you learn. It's safe. It's gradual. You're in control at all times. 


But one day you're going to want to do better than that. Why work to the top - overcoming gravity - when you can just start there and let gravity assist?


So you do that, and that Y axis has eyes as cold as ice staring into them from stand-still. You have to surrender to it. I don't remember that being an easy thing to do at first.


Dropping-in is learning to fall from the start. To descend. To surrender and catch yourself and caress the ups. It's an instant of "I am going to relinquish control" and a "..." followed by a "so as to pocket the momentum of this illusory disgrace, gracefully"


It's only when you over think-it that you're going pull-back - hesitate - and you're going to get hurt. Otherwise, it's basically free energy. You learn a thing or two about commitment, faith and surrender with even such a "mindless" craft as skateboarding. 


The first step is to commit - wholeheartedly - to an obvious and deliberate fall. 




Such as it has always been. That which orbits simply continually falls into and misses in a way one could only ascribe to grace considering what a collision would actually result in.


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