Self destructive guilt | Forum

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AntonDahmer Mar 21 '17
It seems that people I am surrounded by in my life have this deep guilt for any mistake they make, if they wrong someone its very common to witness them for months making sure they still feel bad bout it. I have really been aware of this emotional self sabotage because of an incident that took place last summer with a friend of mine. Basically I hurt someone's feeling because I'm somewhat of a "dick head" and I have a very "morbid sense of humor" as most put it, I thought about my actions and came to the conclusion that I simply misread the level of understanding me and this other person shared at the time ( I was also slightly inebriated ). An older friend of mine was close enough to witness both me acting like a "jack ass" and the process that my mind went through in contemplating whether or not I was in the wrong.  After having this pointed out to me by said friend and dwelling on it a bit I have noticed that it is not very normal for me to feel guilt bout anything for more than a day or two, in some cases like the example it can be gone in a few minutes and I don't even know if during that short period I am experiencing the same emotions that people describe.

           For me the process is generally if a altercation occurs where I am accuse of being mean or something of that nature, my mind uses the available information to consider whether or not I was unjustly harsh and if I wasn't I usually respond with fuck off. If I do feel that for a relationship with that person that will aid me better, I shouldn't have said something then I proceed to acknowledge where I made my error and decide not to do it again, honestly the longest part is usually deciding where my mistake was made not hours feeling sad about it. The response to this is usually that I am cold hearted or animal like, but why is it honorable to sabotage your own mind into constantly feeling self guilt for an error made, why not act like an " animal " and get rid of needless guilt that will only hinder you. This is somewhat of a long post due to a bad case of the late night rambles but I have read from other users that they actually prefer the longer posts so hopefully someone might find this interesting.

AntonDahmer Mar 22 '17

Quote from Zoramonkey "Fuck off" should be the official mantra of a Satanist. In addition to being emotionally satisfying it can also solve a plethora of problems.
Haha indeed, I've learned to restrain myself from my favourite "go fuck your self."
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