Ritual for the Satanic Girl from Padowan's blog

Codependency, also known as the disease of the lost self, is one of the strongest cultural influences placed upon growing girls. This writing is not meant to admonish a Christian perspective but more of a peek into the psychological underpinnings of a childhood nightly ritual. I couldn't help but reflect on my transition from codependent to Satanist after I looked upon a bookshelf and saw a childhood plaque leaning there. This plaque hung upon every childhood room of mine from infancy to high school. I recall my mother at my bedside reciting the words with me as a young girl, sinking the concepts to the furthest recesses of my mind.
I never knew how something so trite and simple could impact my life.

Prayer for A Little Girl

Now I lay me Down to sleep.
I pray Thee Lord, my soul to keep.
And Angels guard me through the night.
And keep me safe 'til morning light.

Help me to know Thy love for me
So I a loving child may be,
With generous thoughts and happy face
And pleasant words in every place.

Teach me to always say what's true,
Be willing in each task I do.
Please help me to be good each day,
And lead me in Thy Holy way.

I pray whatever wrongs I've done
You will forgive them, every one.
Be near me when I wake again,
And bless all those I love. Amen.

On the surface it appears so innocent but the hidden messages are damaging.

"Now I lay me Down to sleep.
I pray Thee Lord, my soul to keep.
And Angels guard me through the night.
And keep me safe 'til morning light."

Here is the beginning of accepting the control of your life (soul) to someone else and dependence upon them for your safety. Even more deeply the implied message is you are inherently unsafe; you need protection you fragile creature. Is there something a young child should really fear while sleeping? Why instill fear into the subconscious before dreaming? How cruel to use fear to encourage compliance in a young girl's heart. I know, I was that fearful child.

"Help me to know Thy love for me
So I a loving child may be,
With generous thoughts and happy face
And pleasant words in every place."

Can you guess the underlying intent? If I fail to be generous and pleasant (for others) then what am I? Unloving? I am not afforded boundaries. I am not given room to feel anger or selfishness or defiance to establish those boundaries. If I am forbidden the growth of boundaries in childhood when do you expect I will learn? The answer: when abuse supersedes the strength of the psyche. Ever notice how much abuse women will endure? Have you ever asked yourself 'why did she stay?' Because she wanted to be 'loving.'

"Teach me to always say what's true,
Be willing in each task I do.
Please help me to be good each day,
And lead me in Thy Holy way."

Natural children are literal. Children are born honest and learn to lie and they learn to lie faster upon the threat of deprivation, punishment and judgment. Teaching insinuates the child cannot tell truth from lie which is ridiculous. Encourage honesty. There is no need to teach the obvious. Willing implies you have a will, but here we learn it is not really our own. Good little girls willfully comply in every task; no back talk missy. And take my hand please, pave the way because women are notorious for falling off the beaten path. Never point us in the right direction and expect the straight and narrow. Just look at Little Red Riding Hood. Self-navigation is unsafe.

"I pray whatever wrongs I've done
You will forgive them, every one.
Be near me when I wake again,
And bless all those I love. Amen."

Here is the crux of the codependent: shame. Shame needs forgiveness. Without shame there is no victim of judgment. A shameless woman has no strings. She cannot be coerced. A woman that determines her own self-worth cannot be emotionally manipulated. And as for the judge, let him never let me be. His control is constant and ever present. Sacrifice your freedom in return for blessings of love and promises of safety. There's no safer place than prison.

This prayer could be just another indoctrination of religion to the average reader, but for me I see clearly the cultural conditioning that helped prime me for abusive relationships.
• self-sacrifice
• lack of boundaries
• subordination
• dependent for security
• need to be validated by others

Now, here I stand. For every trait I changed above I was charged with the following accusations:
• self-serving
• cold and unloving
• bossy and acting like a man
• pretentious and reckless
• shameless and evil

A ritual for the Satanic Girl is overdue.

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Zach Black Owner
Sep 29 '15
Nicely done.
Padowan
Sep 30 '15
Thank you Zach. Your opinion is highly valued and appreciated.
Shawn
Sep 30 '15
Found your ritual. :) www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_1__C-K-vM
Padowan
Sep 30 '15
@Shawn
Padowan
Sep 30 '15
:)
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By Padowan
Added Sep 29 '15

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