Pssst. Hey, you. Yeah, you. C'mere. from Hartnell's blog

I gots  somethin' for yas: one of the most well-kept open secrets of the Satanic religion. Interested? Yup,  that's it in the paper bag. Are yas interested? Hmmm? Ok.

:: Looks around suspiciously ::

Ok, It seems as if the coast is clear.

So, look, I'm not supposed to clue you in like this. You're supposed to  figure this shit out on yer own. I could lose my horns for this, kapeesh? What? Why are you supposed to figure it out? Well, damn, that's a bigger open secret.

Allright. I'll tell you. Sure, yes, all the references to the devil have symbolic value, but it has another purpose. Are you ready for this? It's a red pill thing. Are you really sure? 

No motherfucker, you better be sure you want to know this. Once you know, there's no going back. You can't unknow this obviou.... secret knowledge once you've understood it.

OOWW! SHIT!!! Dafuq you kick me for? Ok, ok, alright. All the dark cloaks and devil's horns is like a sort of built in intelligence test. Well, yes, it's a metric shitload of fun and can have an emotional impact and that's also part of the point, but then again, so will dressing up as Martha Steward in skin tight leather. (Don't judge me, bitch.)

Surely you remember the bit about both fact and fantasy in the SB, and being able to know the difference? Or the bit about a Satanist never deceives himself except with full knowledge of what he's doing, and then it's not deceit? And the bit about LaVey saying that he named it Satanism because his thought was “most stimulating under that name?” 

The lightbulb should be lightin' up right about now.

Nah, take your time.

I'll wait.

DAFUQ!!! Stop kicking me you shitweasel! Oh, yeah, the intelligence test. You're supposed to get that it's for fun. Remember that bit about LaVey saying he wanted to give people “a hell of a good time?” You're not supposed to take all the devil shit that too seriously. It's the sort of thing that if you're not in on the joke, then the joke's on you. Personally I never get tired of the freakouts, well, y'know, freaking out because they've scared themselves. I swear, I don't drink blood nor randomly kill and cook people but it's still freakin' hilarious every time I'm accused of it. Every single time. Shit never gets old:

AHHHHH!!! SATANIST!!! HE'S GOING TO KILL US ALL FOR HIS DARK LAWRD!!! GAWWD HELP US!!! 

Oh holy hell in a motherfucking hand basket motherfucker!! 

(At this point I immediately fell to the floor, completely possessed by an unstoppable laughter, rolling around, uncontrollably shooting the coffee I was drinking out my freekin' nose. Ahem.)
Funny shit. Hahahahahaha ::snort!:: (I snorted!)  Whewwwww.... wellllll... 

Here's the secret: Satanism has always been a bit of a trollercoaster. More intelligent people than me would call it “satirical” or “iconoclastic.” But really it's all good fun by rational people who know something that those pointing the fingers at us will never get.

We're unafraid of their boogieman. Actually, we're so unafraid of it, we've sewn a devil's costume and wear it. 

Don't believe me, huh? What was that last Satanic statement? Kinda has a different flavor now, eh? :)