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The Savior from Anna's blog

Disappointment is a sort of bankruptcy - the bankruptcy of a soul that expends too much in hope and expectation. - Eric Hoffer



There comes the time in your life when you realize it is impossible to put together the shattered glass or that the diamond you cherished for so long is only a piece of trash. You can hold the sham in your hand and still delude yourself it is a gem or accept the bitter truth and throw it away.

Disillusionment has many faces. Each will haunt your memory for days, months or even years and hurt like a knife stabbing your chest. Whenever your dreams are shattered, the part of you dies. The reality you must face is too often gloomy, unfriendly or even scary. This and the painful realization that you have been deluding yourself for so long.

When the guy you were in love with turns out to be someone else than a prince in the golden castle, when your dream job turns out to be a nightmare, when your friends reject you, when you lose your religion and when you see you're not as perfect as you thought you were, bafflement, bitter disappointment and remorse are likely to follow. How could I be so stupid? How could I be so blind? I was in love. I was totally enchanted. I trusted my friends. I thought I could do that. Perhaps, I disappointed my friends. I was not a good wife. I could be more attractive. I could do better...

Cold evaluation of yourself and others is definitely in order, though not before you bury your dreams and illusions and let the grief pass. They deserve the mourning like the dead children, because they were part of you. Then and only then can you move on.



Every wall is a door. The end of something is the new beginning, an opportunity to look inside. The God that can save you will come from the darkest depths of your mind, your inner voice, your real self, real, not imaginary, not illusory and that voice will lead you along the path, your own path of life. The feeble voice so often unheard because of the loud and persistent gabble of experts, religious leaders, authority figures and all those who think they know the best how you should live your own life.

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels;
And not the words of one who kneels.


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Orgasmic Karmatic. Mod
Nov 24 '14
I enjoyed reading this. Very nice, Anna.
Orgasmic Karmatic. Mod
Nov 24 '14
Luz, seriously? If you cannot ignore someone, then it is time to take a step away from the keyboard. Bring it to PMs.
Orgasmic Karmatic. Mod
Nov 24 '14
This is Anna's blog, not your battlefield.
Anna
Nov 24 '14
Thank you. :)
Anna
Dec 1 '14
You're a mean prick as usual Dimitri. Show some empathy for once. The depressed loons that dominate the Satanic interwebz need something to cheer their minds with too. Look how many comments this blog gathered. Even Luz liked it. Know your audience or talk to the wall.You're a mean prick as usual Dimitri. Show some empathy for once. The depressed loons that dominate the Satanic interwebz need something to cheer their minds with too. Look how many comments this blog...See more
Anna
Dec 1 '14
It's a personal rant, Dimitri, inspired by a few dreams I had. I think it's cool and a few people here and on Satannet think it's cool too. You and a few other people think it's not cool and that's fine too. It's hard to please everyone. Both positive and negative comments are welcome because the point is to have some conversation.

Oh thanks for a compliment, Greg. I knew sooner or later you would add your two cents too, worth every penny...
It's a personal rant, Dimitri, inspired by a few dreams I had. I think it's cool and a few people here and on Satannet think it's cool too. You and a few other people think it's not cool and that's fi...See more
Anna
Dec 1 '14
@Dimitri, a personal rant means that I put my own personal thoughts and observations. I wasn't writing only for myself but the blog isn't authoritative, it's a subjective rant. Some people may see themselves in it, others may not even know what I'm talking about. The point is that all people have some illusions or delusions about themselves, others and the world in general, or at least, had them at some point in their lives. Shaking off your illusions can be quite painful so many people prefer to live in their fantasy world than face reality. This blog is about the pain of growing up, most people are like children living in the fairy tale world. Waking up is sometimes like a bang on the head.

Charlie, my darling, sticking up some black feathers up your ass doesn't make you a Satanist. So far, your behavior here points to the contrary. You have posted nothing of value, except some butthurt comments about me. I know you're trying hard to impress me but you see... I've been around for years and had arguments with more sophisticated people than you. Don't lower the bar, please. Jump up or kiss my Polish buttocks, one at a time.
@Dimitri, a personal rant means that I put my own personal thoughts and observations. I wasn't writing only for myself but the blog isn't authoritative, it's a subjective rant. Some people may see the...See more
Anna
Dec 2 '14
Of course, it was for a bit of recognition. I want people to read what I write, just like everybody, including you. Or do you write for yourself and are permanently surprised people read and comment on your posts?
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