WOLFISM XXIII from Wolfie's blog

The Glamour of Self-Confidence:

“Blessed are the arrogant who walk like kings, for the earth knows its master.”

Any of the “Bad Attitudes” from WOLFISM XIX can form the nucleus of a catharsis ritual, but only if it speaks to you and only if you’re able to have fun with it. If the one identified above meets those criteria for you, then make it the core of a cathartic ritual for yourself, and perform it. The effect of repeated performances, over as long a time as feels right to you, will be to kill the part of your Superego that functions as the jailer for your natural self-confidence.

I use the word “glamour” in its archaic sense, and I use the British spelling because it’s more likely (at least for us Americans) to conjure up archaic connotations. Vampires were said to have the power of glamour.

Self-confidence bewitches the observer. A job applicant who is self-confident in an interview is more likely to get hired. A hopeful lover in pursuit, who is self-confident, is more likely to get a “yes” to a question like, “Can I buy you a drink?” – or, “Want to get out of here?” A manager who is self-confident in meetings is more likely to get promoted. A con artist who is self-confident is more likely to be believed. A salesperson who is self-confident is more likely to make the sale. A boxer who is self-confident is more likely to intimidate his or her opponent. A long-time lover who is self-confident is more likely to get a “yes” to a question like, “Will you marry me?” A stage performer who is self-confident is more likely to command an audience.

Why is self-confidence so powerful? Evolution. Our natural instincts evolved over tens of millions of years to favor self-confidence in lovers, leaders, and even followers, and to distrust and disdain self-doubt, diffidence, nervousness, and timidity.

If you want to succeed in life, self-confidence is mandatory. You have to learn it. Simple as that. No excuses. Anything that helps you to learn it, or to unlearn self-doubt, diffidence, nervousness, and timidity – Do. Do it now and keep doing it. Cathartic ritual can help you with the unlearning. As for the learning, the best technique is to roleplay (out in the real world, with real people, in real situations where you're pursuing real goals) what you think self-confidence looks like. Just go for it. Do your best. Fake it till you make it. Practice makes perfect. You’ll eventually, maybe immediately, see positive results, and these will have the psychological effect of watering the roots of your natural self-confidence, which will sprout, flower, and bear fruit.

Also, here’s a little trick: When you feel nervous in a public situation, tap your hand rapidly against your thigh - out of sight if possible, but either way, just do it - because even in plain view, your hand tapping your thigh is unlikely to draw attention, especially if, while doing it, you’re boldly maintaining eye contact. This technique unobtrusively dissipates the nervous energy. I’ve been doing this for over 40 years. It’s one of the most effective techniques I’ve ever found.

No excuses. ISCHYROS DIAVOLOS!