Polyamorous relationships | Forum

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Sabrina
Sabrina Sep 9

Hi, I wanted to know what other people in here think of polyamorous relationships. I've personally never been in one but I'm open to hearing other people's opinions and experiences. For me I don't think I can ever be in one. I see myself as a very single-minded person. I'm just not capable of diverting my attention and love to 2 or more people. That just takes way too much mental energy. That's just the way I am, hence I don't think polyamorous relationships are meant for everyone.   

 In my last relationship, my partner was basically a serial monogamist, and I viewed that as slight polyamory since you're not allowing yourself to fully process the pain after a breakup since you have somebody else to lean onto, or somebody that you're depending on. Also serial monogamy shows a lack of self love but I'm not going to go there.


If you've ever been in a polyamorous relationship, were you able to love both of your partners equally? I mean sure you can also find someone else attractive even when you're in a monogamous relationship, but I have a hard time understanding being in love with both.

 I also sometimes hear people in polyamorous relationships saying one person cannot meet all your needs. And ofc that is true, that's why you have yourself. You just can't have multiple people fill in the gaps in yourself where you're supposed to be filling them. 

The Forum post is edited by Sabrina Sep 9
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Tom Riddle
Tom Riddle Sep 9
I see polyamorous people having symptoms of being victims of child abuse mentally or sexually. This causes an unconsciousness defense mechanism to hinder them being able to pair bound as pair-bounding is "dangerous".


And no monogamy is not lack of self-love. That's a feminist lie. That kind of relationship is natural as it's ensure the offsprings are raised healthy to function as civilized rational people.

The Forum post is edited by Tom Riddle Sep 9
Nutzack Mendez Esquire

Non-virgin answer: 


I'm all for it. Whatevers destroy JC one man/one woman shit. 


It does take a lack of possessive jealousy. 


It's also wired in our genome to be promiscuous and bisexual. Look at chimps in captivity. There are breeding pairs, yes, but every chimp FUCKS every other chimp, even ones in an existing breeding pair. Dolphins are notoriously sex crazed and bisexual as well. They'll even try to fuck humans.


The unnatural thing was what put the Bacchanalian public sex baths to bed. Many early pagan cultures were ALL polyamorous. Polytheistic = Polyamorous (except in Asia).  When the divinity streamlined into a single man the ideas that followed streamlined into JC coveteth patriarchy. 


And outside of homosexual polyamorous ones it takes a degree of transgender proclivity of "the odd sex out" to pull off. 


E.g. The girl with guys (very rare) has to like wearing a strap-on, and the guy with girls had to like being cockholded and giving oral sex. (Most of the men in question are attracted to the woman's preference for other women over themselves and much of them time also attracted to M-F transexuals).


It takes a careful aligning of "fetishes" in the short version.

The Forum post is edited by Nutzack Mendez Esquire Sep 9
Sabrina
Sabrina Sep 9
Quote from Tom Riddle I

And no monogamy is not lack of self-love. That's a feminist lie. That kind of relationship is natural as it's ensure the offsprings are raised healthy to function as civilized rational people.


No, I meant serial monogamy is a lack of self love. Serial monogamy is when you just jump from relationship to relationship without any breaks in between for yourself so you could reflect and process after a breakup. That comes off as a lack of self love and dependence issue to me
The Forum post is edited by Sabrina Sep 9
Sabrina
Sabrina Sep 9

Quote from Nutzack Mendez Esquire

Non-virgin answer: 


I'm all for it. Whatevers destroy JC one man/one woman shit. 


It does take a lack of possessive jealousy. 


It's also wired in our genome to be promiscuous and bisexual. Look at chimps in captivity. There are breeding pairs, yes, but every chimp FUCKS every other chimp, even ones in an existing breeding pair. Dolphins are notoriously sex crazed and bisexual as well. They'll even try to fuck humans.


The unnatural thing was what put the Bacchanalian public sex baths to bed. Many early pagan cultures were ALL polyamorous. Polytheistic = Polyamorous (except in Asia).  When the divinity streamlined into a single man the ideas that followed streamlined into JC coveteth patriarchy. 


And outside of homosexual polyamorous ones it takes a degree of transgender proclivity of "the odd sex out" to pull off. 


E.g. The girl with guys (very rare) has to like wearing a strap-on, and the guy with girls had to like being cockholded and giving oral sex. (Most of the men in question are attracted to the woman's preference for other women over themselves and much of them time also attracted to M-F transexuals).


It takes a careful aligning of "fetishes" in the short version.

Yes I understand the biological sex part. But I wanted to ask are you able to love all your partners equally? Or are you just in it for the sex? (which is fine but I'm talking about serious polyamorous relationships)
donot
donot Sep 10
You see, they don't get it. I love all the people. Sex is something different. 


As I get it, not loving other people is a kind of self-hatred. I hope I answered your question on polyamorous relationships.

The Forum post is edited by donot Sep 10
Sabrina
Sabrina Sep 10

Quote from donot You see, they don't get it. I love all the people. Sex is something different. 


As I get it, not loving other people is a kind of self-hatred. I hope I answered your question on polyamorous relationships.

If you're able to love all the people, then why is there a ranking system in polyamorous relationships like primary and secondary etc. I'm not sure if that's a common thing in polyamory. Correct me if I'm wrong
The Forum post is edited by Sabrina Sep 10
Baphomets Mod
Baphomets Sep 11
Troll bait?
Sabrina
Sabrina Sep 11

Quote from Baphomets Troll bait?
?? 
Cornelius Coburn
I do have a girl 'friend' that I share a house with - it's my house, and I have mentioned about having someone else move in to help out with stuff(as I put it), and it didn't go over very well, even if I was only half serious.


And as far as the hierarchy. I don't really think there is any way around that, whether it be subconscious, conscious and unspoken, or obvious with all the bells and whistles. For the most part, it's a matter of convention and unavoidable.

donot
donot Sep 13
Ranking system? It seems very good and thoughtful. 
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