What made you decide to become a satanist? | Forum

blutausnord666 Aug 5 '14
Hi guys, I know this question probably gets asked a lot, but how did you become a satanist?

For me, I started out being interested in satanism in a very cliche way. I was heavily into death metal and decided to look more into satanism. I was expected to find groups filled with devil worshipers and people who killed animals, etc. Quickly I discovered LaVey and it changed my perspective on things. While today I have my own views on satanism, (and many that differ from LaVey), I can say if it wasnt for him and TSB, I would have a very different view on satanism. After reading TSB and LaVeys other work, I realized I had been a satanist most my life without realizing it.

How did you become a satanist?
A R Aug 5 '14
I found it in a round-about sort of way.  Grew up Christian (a branch of Pentacostalism), but I had a really hard time buying into it, and especially some aspects like prayer or declaring my belief in specific dogmas.  I was always the kind to root for the underdog in movies, and found the villains much more interesting than the heroes.

I got interested in the history of alchemy in elementary school via levity.com, and read about it for quite a while.  In middle school I started reading about Buddhism and found that it seemed (at least in certain forms) to be much more logical, coherent, and sensible than the Christianity I grew up with.

This realization led me to examine a number of religions -- the fact that I was already interested in alchemy/Hermetecism led me to neo-Paganism, but I thought it all sounded too fluffy, and it made me gag a bit at how goody-goody it sounded.  It reminded me too much of Christianity.

Somehow I stumbled across the Satanic Bible, which I rather enjoyed, being that the Garden of Eden story always struck me as a bit odd -- the serpent seemed like a rather positive character, and in Job the Judaic deity just came off like an asshole.

I realized that the philosophy in the book was pretty similar to where I already was at, and for a time considered myself a LaVeyan Satanist (I was about 15-16 at the time).  Gradually I started re-examining my earlier cursory studies of alchemy and Hermetecism, but by this point I was old enough to really start to understand some of the underlying philosophy.

Then I decided that studying concepts like these wouldn't do me much good without a philosophical background, so I took Philosophy and Logic in college (during high school via dual enrollment) and spent much of the time reading books on philosophy in the college library.  I worked my way through a couple introductory books on the topic, then went on to Ayn Rand (wasn't a fan), then Nietzsche and Max Stirner.  I also read Marx, which I found to oddly dovetail with the Satanism (dialectical materialism seems Satanic in a way).

Eventually I circled back and read some books on Gnosticism and early Christian history, which blew my mind -- my religious upbringing was very closed, with even Catholicism viewed as evil/corrupt, and other branches of Protestantism might as well have been another religion entirely, while the "wrong" translation of the bible was very suspect.  Gnosticism in particular grabbed my attention (though I felt that their focus on Light and asceticism as related through neo-Hermetics was a bit one-sided, like it was missing half of the picture), and through this I discovered Aleister Crowley.  I read Liber Al and though it took me some time to digest, with the help of his comments I got a more meaningful understanding of it.  Some of it seemed superficially similar to my understanding of Daoism, but obvious from a much more Western mind.

I'm a bit eclectic myself, in terms of belief.  I'm something of a staunch agnostic with regard to almost everything, since there is simply so much information to process.  What I tend to trust is the information I gain through inward reflection/meditation, which is obviously of a much more personal natural than mere metaphysical speculation.  I consider myself a Satanist less in the LaVeyan sense than in the sense that I:

1. Like to play Devil's Advocate with every possible position
2. Really like the mythological character of Satan/Lucifer/Prometheus from Milton, Bakunin, Goethe, Byron, Twain, Baudelaire, Carducci, and other writers
3. Like the archetype of the serpent as understood by Campbell and Jung
4. Identify with the Gnostic spiritual tools more-so than most others, with a strong inclination toward Thelema
The Forum post is edited by A R Aug 5 '14
Andrew Young
Andrew Young Aug 14 '14
Discovered the CoS back in... oh, I think it was 1998. Looked cool, agreed with a lot of it, but I didn't join. Went off and did a bunch of other shit, including Asatru, always from an atheistic standpoint. Four years ago came back around again to Satanism, but shifted to Luciferianism (focus on knowledge and progress with acknowledgement of the carnal instead of focus on the carnal.) 

I like using symbols to break down the real world into edible bites and using ritual to focus my mind. And I like using fantasy to exercise my ingenuity. As far as theism goes, I'm ignostic or theological noncognitivist. I think the very terms "god" and "supernatural" are gibberish and that they don't have testable, non-circular definitions that I've ever heard. I have to reject those concepts as meaningless and therefore irrelevant to real life until I get useful definitions. One could potentially come up with an infinite number of similarly ill-defined and untestable ideas. It's simply not practical to entertain them all, so I don't think it's appropriate to pick a few to entertain just because they're popular. You shouldn't believe my idea that dark matter is a gravity shadow of 11th dimensional candy corn just because it can't be proven false. That would be irrational.

The Forum post is edited by Andrew Young Aug 14 '14
MisterOwl Aug 18 '14

I came to Satanism at a rather late age - 22. For years I had been searching for something. My mind always knew something was missing from my life and I finally was able to realize it in my late teens/early twenties.


I had heard about Satanism in bits and pieces cine my mid-teens, but information was hard to come by. But at 22, I finally found and read TSB. It contained philosophies which I had already accepted as well as some new information which made sense.


Reading TSB automatically forced me to reevaluate my life. It forced me to think about who I really was and ultimately helped me to release those parts of me that my extreme Catholic upbringing had tried to keep repressed. It helped me to fully accept myself as I am.


I was lost philosophically; I was lost mentally (bipolar disorder) and my life was a mess. But Satanism, despite not being a cure for mental illness, has helped me more in life than Catholicism ever did. I guess you could say, like many drunks, I found 'religion'... but 'religion' which depends solely upon me helping and working on myself as opposed to using an imaginary friend as a crutch.


Satanism helped me to reevaluate everything in my life and to be a better person - physically, mentally, ethically, etc. Being a Satanist wasn't so much a decision for me... it was more like finding the place in life where I belong. I call myself an atheist publically because Satanism is more personal and not really much of anybody's business, but the term atheist does not fit as a full description of my philosophy and beliefs... Satanism is so much more to us than mere atheism (or theism, if that's your thing) and I don't think most people, atheists included, will ever fully understand Satanism... It's one of those, you either get it or you don't, things.

Daniel Malley
Daniel Malley Aug 21 '14
I felt I had a lot of room to be more Edgy than I currently was.
Not wanting to become a Vegan, Satanism seemed the sensible choice.
Khandnalie Member
Khandnalie Aug 22 '14
I started on the Satanic path when I was in middle school. I had just quietly deconverted from the vague nondenominational Christianity my mom practiced. It had taken a while, but when I finally threw away my identity as a Christian, it felt like surfacing from under a deep ocean, and breathing for the first time. I was voracious with regard to knowledge and philosophy. I read everything I could find, picking it up just long enough to vaguely understand it before jumping to the next topic. Incidentally, it was during this time that I kindled my passion for science and math that has lead me to my current pursuit of an engineering degree. 

Anyways - in my desperate feast of information, one topic that grabbed my eye was Satanism. I stumbled upon the CoS website, and was rather mystified. I read some of their articles on this and that, and was intrigued. A few months later, I found myself in Barnes and Noble, and saw a copy of the TSB. Haha, I was terrified of my Christian mother finding out, and so I bought another completely unrelated book as an excuse for walking up to the register. 

It was the first time anything religious had actually made *sense* to me. It felt right. It did away with the cultural taboos and tacky lifestyles that I had so long tied to religion. I soaked it up. For a short while thereafter, I struggled with the philosophy. In my youthful foolishness, it sometimes became an  enabler for immature behavior. But, I soon grew out of that, and for a while, I stepped out of satanism. I needed time to refine myself and define my beliefs outside the context of Satanism. That, and the childish attitudes of many Satanists associated with the CoS left a bad taste in my mouth  especially as I was also discovering my political beliefs. 

Most Satanists that I met frankly just seemed like arrogant, insufferable assholes. I didn't want to associate myself with that image, and so there were  a couple years where I considered myself simply an atheist. But, the ideas of Satanism stayed with me. It wasn't until a few years ago that I decided that Satanism was still something that was part of me. Since then, I have been continually refining and redefining my self and my path. 

Nowadays, I staunchly refuse to identify as LaVeyan, for the same reasons I stepped out of Satanism before. I see no reason to tie my religious identity to LaVey, and particularly not to the CoS. But, despite that, a Satanist I remain, walking my own path. 

Kenneth Aug 29 '14
I exposed myself to Satanism out of boredom during my first year of high school. Being young, I was conflicted at the time as to whether or not it could apply to me, since all I knew of Satanism was its theistic aspect, which did not appeal to me in the slightest because I had been an atheist for two years. I ended up reading TSB because the little information that I could find portrayed its content as so unlike my perception that I was intrigued. Things just kind of went from there. 
Michael Stone
Michael Stone Sep 4 '14
It is not something to decide. You either are or you aren't before you even know there is such a label.
Smelly Cat Member
Smelly Cat Sep 5 '14
Catholic upbringing, Iron Maiden and a guy at school who brought his mum's copy of the Satanic Bible in one day. 

After that it was a matter of exploring the artistic, religious and historical aspects. 

Epicurus Member
Epicurus Sep 6 '14
Being open minded to listen to different views.

I studied very well and lived both the left hand path and the right hand path to the  extreme.The way I live.Trying to discover myself each day and learn even if I change everyday meaning I am not the same person of 1 minute ago,  1 hour ago, 1 day ago ...  self discovery is continuous never ending.

Brazy Member
Brazy Sep 6 '14
I think I speak for the greater portion (if not all) of the Satanists on S.I.N, and worldwide, there was never any choice. Being a Satanist is something that we are, and always have been. From that moment you asked your parents "where is "God", how come we can't see him/her, and does he/she even exist?"... to the moments you realize the contradictions in the bible... to the moment you realize how corrupt religion is and how it affects the world.

My family is predominately Catholic, aside from my mother who is a Christian; a self-styled Christian at that. I know, go figure. She studies Theology and Religion at Liberty University, and she is also a Minister. For a long time, we disputed about Christianity to the point where the end-game resulted with her crying in emotion and me basking in my emotionless consciousness. As of now, we have an agreement with our family and ourselves, to never discuss Christianity while we are both present. There is no such thing as a friendly debate. (And yes, most people who know me know that i'm a Satanist; friends and family alike) Although, as of late, my mother has been trying to get a better insight of my beliefs and is starting to understand me more as a person. She always taught me to be my own person, to ask questions and to be a leader; to stand out.

So as far as i'm concerned... I was born this way, i'm going to live this way, and I am going to die this way.



The Forum post is edited by Brazy Sep 6 '14
Brazy Member
Brazy Sep 6 '14

Quote from Greg_Belial I don't need you to speak for me. One of the great thing about being a Satanist is to not needing someone to do your talking for you. Having the courage to stand up and speak for yourself. I was with you until you put the term (if not all) in your little speech. Even if I agree with your statement %100 or not, you do not speak for me. 

I'm very glad to see you've gained some insight from your "Being a Satanist 101" class Greggy. If you wish to discuss, debate and/or exchange ideas on any given topic worth discussing, i'm fair game. But if you're on your menstrual cycle and looking for attention, you're in the wrong place; and definitely barking up the wrong tree.

For shits and giggles, i'll entertain this for a little while. Let's see, where do I begin?? (Not really much to go on btw) So let me just point out the obvious:

Quote from Greg_Belial I was with you until you put the term (if not all) in your little speech.

This must be the most pathetic part of your statement considering the excerpt you quoted is how I began my post. How could you possibly "be with me" if you haven't gotten passed my opening statement?? (completely rhetorical) If I had placed those same words towards the end of my post, you would have actually made some type of sense. It seems to me (and correct me if i'm wrong), that you have absolutely no life, so you have to enter the internet world of S.I.N and exploit your own frustrations as you digress from the topic at hand. Is your life really that miserable? (blatant rhetoric)

Quote from Greg_Belial Even if I agree with your statement %100 or not, you do not speak for me. 

"I think I speak for the greater portion (if not all)"... Could you deem it a possibility that YOU were part of the "lesser portion" of the latter??? If not, then you're just as idiotic as your post. If so, what purpose/sense does your post serve/make?? Either way (or simply put), Your post was just plain stupid.

I think it would be in your best interest to actually think before you post a response.

(P.S. I wasn't trying to "think" for you in my last statement... It was merely a suggestion) =)

Brazy Member
Brazy Sep 6 '14
Oh yeah.....
Quote from Greg_Belial Even if I agree with your statement %100 or not, you do not speak for me.
The percent symbol goes after the number... Just saying.
Khandnalie Member
Khandnalie Sep 6 '14
So as far as i'm concerned... I was born this way, i'm going to live this way, and I am going to die this way.


Just gonna..... Leave this here. 

Brazy Member
Brazy Sep 6 '14

Quote from Khandnalie http://youtu.be/wV1FrqwZyKw Just gonna..... Leave this here. 

Now that was pretty witty and creative!! <kudos> I'm glad my words reminded you of your favorite artist. Although I must say, I didn't quite take you and your brother greggy to be Lady Gaga fans. To each his own I suppose. On that note:



Khandnalie Member
Khandnalie Sep 6 '14
Brazy Member
Brazy Sep 7 '14

Quote from Greg_Belial It's okay Brazy. You're a cool guy, you just don't speak for me. As much of a God as you think you are I don't think most people here need you as their representative. Most of the regular users have no problem speaking for themselves. 
I'm very well aware that each individual in the S.I.N community is more than capable of speaking and fending themselves; been part of it since it's establishment. I was simply making an agreeable statement. Hence, why I chose the words "I think" & "greater portion" to be included in my opening statement. I did so in an attempt to clarify that I do realize the possibility that some users may not completely agree with me; if at all. I actually wasn't expecting any feedback toward my post, I was just placing my input toward the OP. But I suppose, I can understand your perspective. No love lost.
Brazy Member
Brazy Sep 7 '14
You're officially my favorite person on S.I.N... Hail You!!! \m/
Berardo Rodriguez Member
Berardo Rodriguez Sep 13 '14
One day as a Minister of the Jehovah's Witness,  the elders gave me a topic to talk about in the Kingdom hall , it was about " The Bible" , obviously I had to prepare myself for the teaching, I had to look in the internet for some information on the subject "Bibles" , then I found "The Satanic Bible" . I talked to the elders that I had found a different type of Bible , and I would like to teach about it, but they refused it. It was a hard time , I left them. After reading the Satanic Bible ,I realized who I was, I continued searching for people with an understanding of satanism to develop  my learning on the satanic life and its philosophy,  I found  the S.I.N. and here I am growing up little by little,  I have found my freedom by recognizing myself as a satanic being contrary to the manufacturing of  a hypocrite Christian life.
johnnywatts Chapter Head
johnnywatts Sep 29 '14
I was raised in a eclectic Chinese household. My father was a fairly devout Buddhist, my mother a "free thinker". My mom used to say she would pray at any church or temple that would bring her the results she wants.

At the age of 12, I left my home country (Malaysia) for Singapore. I was alone, free to decide right and wrong for myself. The topic of religion came up with one of my friends, who introduced me to his church. This was City Harvest Church, the largest church in Singapore, and probably the entire Southeast Asia region. It was part of the Charismatic Movement in Christianity. You can read more here:


My time as a Christian was pretty dull. I read the Bible in bits and pieces as directed by our Cell leader for Bible study (we were divided into Cells, because the congregation was over 18,000 strong). I actually got pretty well versed in it.

One fine day, I just made the decision to read the Bible, cover to cover. I thought, what better way to strengthen my faith?

Well, lo and behold, it disgusted me. I think it was Penn Jillette who said, "The fastest way to become an atheist is to read the Bible".

So I told the Cell group what I found out, and was basically told that if I leave I will go to Hell, that their church is the right church, that there are more Christians than Atheists so they will dominate the world, etc. etc.

How ironic then, that a couple years after I left, this happened:


The leader of City Harvest Church, Pastor Kong Hee, got his ass busted for diverting church funds into his wife's music career.

Anyway, after leaving CHC, I was an atheist. Reading the Bible convinced me that a God that would kill so many, condone incest, and basically toy with lives is a God not deserving of worship, and therefore cannot exist.

My journey in atheism began as a simple "I don't believe in God". But over the years, I grew in my ability to attack Christianity at its very core, using the Bible against them.

At age 20, I toned down the rhetoric. Why fight them? No one is going to change their minds. At this point, I was enrolled in college, and began reading books and watching YouTube videos of famous atheists. I began to see that attacking Christianity directly has no benefit to my life, and that I should focus on myself more.

It was at this point that I began championing scientific understanding and rational thought. I began to attack my own beliefs that I took for granted, and subjected them to evidence based observations. The evidence was not pretty. I basically ended up seeing Man as an animal, sometimes better but more often worse than those that walk on all-fours.

Couple years later, at age 22, I began dabbling with the occult. I picked up a copy of The Satanic Bible, and god damn, now I actually have a NAME for what I already believe. It was then that I began identifying as a Satanist, though not publicly. Only certain people were privy to it (my girlfriend at that time for one, now my wife).

The rest, as they say, is history. I'm 27 as of writing this post. I have never felt more harmonious within, and as khandnalie said before, my actions became one with my thoughts.

And that, is how I became a Satanist.

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Satanic International Network was created by Zach Black in 2009.