What made you decide to become a satanist? | Forum

I like using symbols to break down the real world into edible bites and using ritual to focus my mind. And I like using fantasy to exercise my ingenuity. As far as theism goes, I'm ignostic or theological noncognitivist. I think the very terms "god" and "supernatural" are gibberish and that they don't have testable, non-circular definitions that I've ever heard. I have to reject those concepts as meaningless and therefore irrelevant to real life until I get useful definitions. One could potentially come up with an infinite number of similarly ill-defined and untestable ideas. It's simply not practical to entertain them all, so I don't think it's appropriate to pick a few to entertain just because they're popular. You shouldn't believe my idea that dark matter is a gravity shadow of 11th dimensional candy corn just because it can't be proven false. That would be irrational.

I came to Satanism at a rather late age - 22. For years I had been searching for something. My mind always knew something was missing from my life and I finally was able to realize it in my late teens/early twenties.

I had heard about Satanism in bits and pieces cine my mid-teens, but information was hard to come by. But at 22, I finally found and read TSB. It contained philosophies which I had already accepted as well as some new information which made sense.

Reading TSB automatically forced me to reevaluate my life. It forced me to think about who I really was and ultimately helped me to release those parts of me that my extreme Catholic upbringing had tried to keep repressed. It helped me to fully accept myself as I am.

I was lost philosophically; I was lost mentally (bipolar disorder) and my life was a mess. But Satanism, despite not being a cure for mental illness, has helped me more in life than Catholicism ever did. I guess you could say, like many drunks, I found 'religion'... but 'religion' which depends solely upon me helping and working on myself as opposed to using an imaginary friend as a crutch.

Satanism helped me to reevaluate everything in my life and to be a better person - physically, mentally, ethically, etc. Being a Satanist wasn't so much a decision for me... it was more like finding the place in life where I belong. I call myself an atheist publically because Satanism is more personal and not really much of anybody's business, but the term atheist does not fit as a full description of my philosophy and beliefs... Satanism is so much more to us than mere atheism (or theism, if that's your thing) and I don't think most people, atheists included, will ever fully understand Satanism... It's one of those, you either get it or you don't, things.

Anyways - in my desperate feast of information, one topic that grabbed my eye was Satanism. I stumbled upon the CoS website, and was rather mystified. I read some of their articles on this and that, and was intrigued. A few months later, I found myself in Barnes and Noble, and saw a copy of the TSB. Haha, I was terrified of my Christian mother finding out, and so I bought another completely unrelated book as an excuse for walking up to the register. 

It was the first time anything religious had actually made *sense* to me. It felt right. It did away with the cultural taboos and tacky lifestyles that I had so long tied to religion. I soaked it up. For a short while thereafter, I struggled with the philosophy. In my youthful foolishness, it sometimes became an  enabler for immature behavior. But, I soon grew out of that, and for a while, I stepped out of satanism. I needed time to refine myself and define my beliefs outside the context of Satanism. That, and the childish attitudes of many Satanists associated with the CoS left a bad taste in my mouth  especially as I was also discovering my political beliefs. 

Most Satanists that I met frankly just seemed like arrogant, insufferable assholes. I didn't want to associate myself with that image, and so there were  a couple years where I considered myself simply an atheist. But, the ideas of Satanism stayed with me. It wasn't until a few years ago that I decided that Satanism was still something that was part of me. Since then, I have been continually refining and redefining my self and my path. 

Nowadays, I staunchly refuse to identify as LaVeyan, for the same reasons I stepped out of Satanism before. I see no reason to tie my religious identity to LaVey, and particularly not to the CoS. But, despite that, a Satanist I remain, walking my own path. 

After that it was a matter of exploring the artistic, religious and historical aspects. 

I studied very well and lived both the left hand path and the right hand path to the  extreme.The way I live.Trying to discover myself each day and learn even if I change everyday meaning I am not the same person of 1 minute ago,  1 hour ago, 1 day ago ...  self discovery is continuous never ending.

My family is predominately Catholic, aside from my mother who is a Christian; a self-styled Christian at that. I know, go figure. She studies Theology and Religion at Liberty University, and she is also a Minister. For a long time, we disputed about Christianity to the point where the end-game resulted with her crying in emotion and me basking in my emotionless consciousness. As of now, we have an agreement with our family and ourselves, to never discuss Christianity while we are both present. There is no such thing as a friendly debate. (And yes, most people who know me know that i'm a Satanist; friends and family alike) Although, as of late, my mother has been trying to get a better insight of my beliefs and is starting to understand me more as a person. She always taught me to be my own person, to ask questions and to be a leader; to stand out.

So as far as i'm concerned... I was born this way, i'm going to live this way, and I am going to die this way.

Quote from Greg_Belial I don't need you to speak for me. One of the great thing about being a Satanist is to not needing someone to do your talking for you. Having the courage to stand up and speak for yourself. I was with you until you put the term (if not all) in your little speech. Even if I agree with your statement %100 or not, you do not speak for me. 

For shits and giggles, i'll entertain this for a little while. Let's see, where do I begin?? (Not really much to go on btw) So let me just point out the obvious:

Quote from Greg_Belial I was with you until you put the term (if not all) in your little speech.

Quote from Greg_Belial Even if I agree with your statement %100 or not, you do not speak for me. 

I think it would be in your best interest to actually think before you post a response.

(P.S. I wasn't trying to "think" for you in my last statement... It was merely a suggestion) =)

Just gonna..... Leave this here. 

Now that was pretty witty and creative!! <kudos> I'm glad my words reminded you of your favorite artist. Although I must say, I didn't quite take you and your brother greggy to be Lady Gaga fans. To each his own I suppose. On that note:

ENJOY!!!

At the age of 12, I left my home country (Malaysia) for Singapore. I was alone, free to decide right and wrong for myself. The topic of religion came up with one of my friends, who introduced me to his church. This was City Harvest Church, the largest church in Singapore, and probably the entire Southeast Asia region. It was part of the Charismatic Movement in Christianity. You can read more here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charismatic_Movement

My time as a Christian was pretty dull. I read the Bible in bits and pieces as directed by our Cell leader for Bible study (we were divided into Cells, because the congregation was over 18,000 strong). I actually got pretty well versed in it.

One fine day, I just made the decision to read the Bible, cover to cover. I thought, what better way to strengthen my faith?

Well, lo and behold, it disgusted me. I think it was Penn Jillette who said, "The fastest way to become an atheist is to read the Bible".

So I told the Cell group what I found out, and was basically told that if I leave I will go to Hell, that their church is the right church, that there are more Christians than Atheists so they will dominate the world, etc. etc.

How ironic then, that a couple years after I left, this happened:

http://news.asiaone.com/news/singapore/chc-trial-prosecutor-says-kong-hee-lied-years-conceal-fund-misuse

The leader of City Harvest Church, Pastor Kong Hee, got his ass busted for diverting church funds into his wife's music career.

Anyway, after leaving CHC, I was an atheist. Reading the Bible convinced me that a God that would kill so many, condone incest, and basically toy with lives is a God not deserving of worship, and therefore cannot exist.

My journey in atheism began as a simple "I don't believe in God". But over the years, I grew in my ability to attack Christianity at its very core, using the Bible against them.

At age 20, I toned down the rhetoric. Why fight them? No one is going to change their minds. At this point, I was enrolled in college, and began reading books and watching YouTube videos of famous atheists. I began to see that attacking Christianity directly has no benefit to my life, and that I should focus on myself more.

It was at this point that I began championing scientific understanding and rational thought. I began to attack my own beliefs that I took for granted, and subjected them to evidence based observations. The evidence was not pretty. I basically ended up seeing Man as an animal, sometimes better but more often worse than those that walk on all-fours.

Couple years later, at age 22, I began dabbling with the occult. I picked up a copy of The Satanic Bible, and god damn, now I actually have a NAME for what I already believe. It was then that I began identifying as a Satanist, though not publicly. Only certain people were privy to it (my girlfriend at that time for one, now my wife).

The rest, as they say, is history. I'm 27 as of writing this post. I have never felt more harmonious within, and as khandnalie said before, my actions became one with my thoughts.

And that, is how I became a Satanist.