© Copyright Satanic International Network
This isn't as shocking as it sounds. While you read the title correctly, some may have inferred a different meaning than intended. No, Bruce Wayne isn't gay.[1] Instead this refers to a long-time in-joke involving the fact I came out of the bat cave years ago by revealing the secret identity of the caped crusader -- ME! ME, MOTHERFUCKERS! I AM BATMAN!!!
I'll let that sink in.
So, yeah. I'm Batman. Not Mr. Bruce (ohhhhh my parents are dead) Whine. It's me. I'm Batman. Does this make sense? Are we on the same page? No? Oh well, fuck it. Here's how the damn thing got started:
Yes, that is a bra on my head. I'll wait while you watch it again.
Heh. :)
This video was made as part of a stupid social-chain game that people played on Youtube back in the day. It was played like this:
1. Someone makes a video giving their opinions on a range of subjects.
2. The person tags people they know in the video description.
3. Those people who are tagged make videos giving their opinions of the same topics and tag people they know.
4. And the whole thing spreads through the YT network like social cancer.
And one bright and shining day this game was peacefully travelling through YT netizens, minding it's own business, until Hatesfury tagged me. (Hows Hatesfury doing these days, anyway?)
Heh :)
What could I do but give my most valid opinion on each of the subjects, which, as you know by now is universally :
I AM BATMAN!!
Don't worry. If you're still confused, I promise that the plot will thin shortly.
The reason why I revealed my secret identity is because it's the most valid answer I could give -- which is to say, not at all. There's no reason for me to have an opinion on any of them simply because some other people do.
It's like Jesus. A Christian recruiter expects you to already know who Jesus is when he asks you "Do you know Jesus?" He wants to get your current opinion so he can get a baseline to change it. What's fun to do and totally fucks their day and brain is when you steal any possible validity from the recruiter by shifting the frame or playing dumb.
Shifting the Frame: "Jesus? Do you know him, too? (Recruiter smiles and says yes.) The crackhead down the street? HE OWES ME MONEY!!" (Recruiter becomes sorry to bother you, assures you he made a mistake, and rushes off to more important matters he suddenly remembered at just that moment.)
Playing Dumb: "Jesus who?"
Playing dumb is more effective than logic to get people to realize how ludicris they really sound. Why? They have to explain these beliefs, from scratch, to a grown and reasonable person.
Recruiter: Uh, you know, Jesus. He died for you.
Me: I'm sorry to hear he died, but I don't have a clue who you're talking about. (cue sideways look)
Recruiter: You know, Jesus Christ. Our lord and savior who died for your sins?
Me: I said I don't know who you're talking about. Are you from here? We have a president. And I'm not a princess who needs to be saved by ... the death of someone else for my ... sins?
Recruiter: Uh...
At this point the recruiter's mind is racing, trying to think one step ahead, desperately checking and double checking that what he's about to say to make sure it doesn't sound crazy. (See, better than logic.)
Recruiter: Uh...
(long, awkward seconds pass)
Recruiter: Uh...
Me: Well, it's been uh.... bye. (cue: walking away.)
So what's all this got to do with freethinkin'? I'll get to that in a second.
First, what most people call freethinkin' is nothing of the sort. It's more like using the word as an excuse to not think at all. They point, scoff, and say "That's stupid. I know because I'm a freethinker!" Those fuckers are about as freethinking as parrots.
So, what is this freethinking thing anyway? I found this definition:
"A freethinker is defined as a person who forms his own opinions about important subjects (such as religion and poltics) instead of accepting what others say."
Do you see the flaw there? Read it again.
Ok, it's challenge time. The prize: 50 kudos each..
The first challenge: Describe the obvious flaw in so-called "freethinkin',"
I'll give you a hint. Douglas Adams (Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy) points to the answer by introducing concepts with the following language: "It's a popular and important fact that..."
First answer gets all 50 kudos
The second challenge. (Also 50 kudos to first answer.)
Why is "I'M BATMAN!" an appropriate opinion to each subject in my video?.
COMPLETELY VALID. IMPORTANT AND RELEVANT FOOTNOTES
1. I know, because I'm from the future.
The Wall