BijouBlackNBlu's blog

Since I was a young teenager I liked the idea of playing with religious philosophy and (science) fiction. I was (am) the weird kid who thinks cults are neat and maybe I might like to consider the idea of "shakin' it up" a little bit by adding my own twist to the world of worship. Anyway yeah... I think about weird shit too often, and now I'm gonna share some of it with you.
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One of the weird things is the David Bowie Oracle. I don't really take part in the practice as often as I used to (because I rarely need to care about how my day goes) but I used to start every day by collecting up all of the David Bowie music in my possession, putting it on whatever player device I had that could shuffle and letting the first three songs I heard dictate my day. I picked it up in my early 20's when you could have three disk changer boomboxes... my first three CDs were ziggy Star dust, the labyrinth soundtrack, and  hunky dory. Those were strange, dark times.
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Road Bananas.....
I have been taking photographs of random discarded bananas on roads and side walks for the better part of 20 years. I don't really know why I do it but it's something that I have done since I got my first digital camera. Any time I see one I stop what I am doing and take a photo. It's become an omen of chaotic adventure with a side of slapstick. It does not matter what shape the banana is in, black empty husk on the sidewalk, or unviolated and forgotten in a parking lot, I stop what I am doing, admire it's absurdity, and document the blessed event with a photograph.
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Dead Birds and misadventure...
During highschool I often walked 2 to 3 miles at a time in order to meet up with friends with easier going house holds for the having of adventure and doing of havoc. During these walks (in the warmer months) I would count the number of dead birds I passed along the way (because I was a morbid child). Over time I came to believe my own idea that the amount of dead birds was an omen of the level of adventure and my ability not to get caught doing it. The more dead birds, the more likely I won't get caught doing whatever it is I knew I probably shouldn't be doing. If I saw zero or only one or two I would know to dial it back a little bit and probably not try to hitch hike to the mall.  The superstition grew in complexity that took type of bird and condition of corpse into account. When I started driving I added the idea that killing a bird was a terrible sign and if it was a crow you were completely fuckin' boned. I did mention that I was a weird little fucker right?
“The real violence is committed in the writing of history, the records of the legal system, the reporting of the news, through manipulation of social contracts, and control of information.” -bryant H. McGill

History is completely different than we think it is, and we know it. I believe this with all my heart.

But does it matter?

Does the history of mankind even matter in the current year? If Tartaria was real what bearing has it got on the work-a-day world? So we all come from a lie, history is completely wrong, and you still gotta go to work on monday. Alright.

There are all manner of lost technologies, knowledge, and art we will never get back. Things we now attribute to gods and magic; Gone forever from human understanding. Never to return.

Time to clock in at walmart...

I know this isn't a dream, the matrix, or some terrible social experiment, this is real life and we are stuck here until we ain't.

Life on earth is strange and kinda stupid sometimes.
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Free will huh? That shit is a lie. Free will to mill around a cage. Who the fuck thought it was a good idea to turn the planet into a big old machine that grinds people up and spits out corpses? Work with the faceless monkies, doing faceless things for faceless people, or don't and die. Yay!!!
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“There's one hole in every revolution, large or small. And it's one word long – people. No matter how big the idea they all stand under, people are small and weak and cheap and frightened. It's people that kill every revolution. “- Spider Jerusalem from The comic series transmetropolitain

I'm just sitting here watching some footage of dock workers in Italy refusing to service a ship full of weapons bound for Yemen. The protests and strength of these people is pretty fuckin' inspiring. It would never happen in the U.S.. People would just do their job halfheartedly as they do, and the ship would sink due to negligence rather than sabotage.  
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There are people who want to believe that we live in a simulation because existence is so fucking absurd and sometimes, I don't blame the mother fuckers.
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"Words are but symbols for the relations of things to one another and to us; nowhere do they touch upon absolute truth." -Friedrich Nietzsche

"The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use the words." -Philip K Dick

The Rudiments of Propaganda: https://realitymaps.com/2003/09-manipulation.html


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"He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying." -Friedrich Nietzsche

“The Guide says there is an art to flying", said Ford, "or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”  -Douglas Adams from life the universe and everything

Pink Floyd Learning to Fly: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nVhNCTH8pDs


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“He that writeth in blood and proverbs doth not want to be read, but learnt by heart. In the mountains the shortest way is from peak to peak, but for that route thou must have long legs. Proverbs should be peaks, and those spoken to should be big and tall. The atmosphere rare and pure, danger near and the spirit full of a joyful wickedness: thus are things well matched. I want to have goblins about me, for I am courageous. The courage which scareth away ghosts, createth for itself goblins--it wanteth to laugh.” ―Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra

"The delvers discovered all too rapidly, that trying to fight while a busy goblin was in your underwear was very bad for the concentration.” ―Terry Pratchett, Raising Steam

“I cried out to the fae to appear for me. It was my ill fortune that it was a goblin who answered.” ―Molly Ringle, The Goblins of Bellwater

The Goblin and the Woman by Hans Christian Anderson: http://www.andersen.sdu.dk/vaerk/hersholt/TheGoblinAndTheWoman_e.html


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"He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." -Friedrich Nietzsche

"He who makes a beast of himself, gets rid of the pain of being a man." -Hunter S. Thompson Fear and loathing in los vegas.

Strange Eden by Philip K Dick: http://sickmyduck.narod.ru/pkd063-0.html


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"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." -Douglas Adams Hitch Hiker's guide to the Galaxy

"Woman was God's Second Mistake"- Fredrick Neotzsche

Eric Idle "Always look on the bright side of life": https://youtu.be/SJUhlRoBL8M
This afternoon upon returning from a shopping trip we were assailed by the strong odder of one of the cats yet again pissing on the rug by the front door. I said "oof that's some serious stank!" and he said "What stink?"...

Normally this sort of thing would go back and forth like some annoying 10 year old's joke that ends with him walking away and me being solely responsible for the cleaning of the mess. NO MAN! Not this fucking time!

As soon as he said those words I was slammed hard in the face by every single time any man in my life played that stupid game with me, or outright ignored a mess claiming to "like it that way"... What I wanted to say to him was "then you pick that rug up and rub your whole god damned face real fucking good with it" but instead I yelled "STOP IT!!! IT'S NOT FUNNY TO PLAY STUPID!!"

He turned around, picked up the rug, and started the washer while I scrubbed the spot and checked for others.

So many of the men in my life have been perfectly fine with living in filth when they had no one to clean up after them... Since I was 15 years old hooking up with the chubby kid on New street all these little boys and men have been hoarders of filth who say things like "I know where everything is" "I feel liberated" "it'll just get dirty again anyway"...

I wasn't raised like that. My grandfather and grandmother always kept their homes tidy and maintained, and my mother MADE SURE I knew how to keep a home clean. I don't understand why I end up with such gross men. It feels like my whole life I've been cleaning up after someone else's spoiled little faggot.

Wait wait! that wasn't me using "faggot" as a general slur. I literally mean closeted gay/bisexual men, who abuse me for my displays of strength and Independence while they look to me as a mommy figure who takes care of the wittle baby's needs...

I ain't tryin' a do that shit anymore. You would think that a person "on the left hand path" as long as I have been wouldn't fall for that kinda shit in the first place, but I did and I might again. Why? Because I am used to it. I don't judge people by their flaws, what they can't do, what they've been through, or how they cope (or not) with their issues. I'm not going to cut a person loose because they have personal problems and want to unload their emotional burden on me. So yeah. That is my fault! I'm learning to be more judgemental trust me on that!

I ain't sure where I'm going with this but I'm sick of cleaning up after scumbags who call me worthless but can't do shit by themselves. I can not be devalued, belittled, berated, or abused more than I already have. There is in fact no lower point in the abyss, than where I have just past and I ain't going back there! The scars this journey have left are thick, but every one is a victory of Will over sorrow and self pity.

I might have my fucked up moments where I'm crying like Trisha Paytas on the kitchen floor, but at least I know myself well enough to admit that I am fucked up.
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Satanic International Network was created by Zach Black in 2009.