My first satanic novel | Forum

Wow someone wrote my life.  I am the original Mary Sue. :/ :/ :/

AK 47!  Antichrist baby names!  Now!

Ick for short.  Or Ack.  AKabod.

Yes, you are speaking my language, Satan.

I am actually in the process of putting together a creepy pasta in an idea I got from a bizarre clown medication website. 

You've been trolled to oblivion so I am stealing your thread. 

The basic synopses of it is: 

There is an obscure website with a title like  Pathwaysofhoperecovery.org (or something not taken)
The website will have links to bizarre written notes. Links to bizarre selfies and pictures.  And links to poorly shot pentecostal sermons about deliverance from evil.  Mixed in will be random videos of disturbed people, and of course, exorcisms. 

A common motif will be like: #enemiesofsatan 

The creepy pasta surrounding it is: There is a clandestine nationwide group that systematically harass people they consider "evil".  It will incorporate workplace harassment with religious hysteria and a scientologist like resolve to torture people to breaking. For the word of God, to them, is now death to unbelievers.  A byproduct of what they do at peoples jobs activates something in their head and they start hearing their coworkers all the time. 

This website is this disturbing groups work to purge the devil they see from society. 

Eventually I will do this... But I'm also bipolar so I probably won't care in 3 hours.  

Ah, Satanic Anal.  The rite every girl goes through on her boyfriend's birthday.

Tits out for demonic buggery.  It's what tempted Jesus.  It's why Satan fell.  Thirst for thicc ass.  Don't you know that Michael is an ass man.  Beelzebub is tits though.  Tits out for the Order of the Fly.  Ass out for tempting Nachash.

Alright guys and .... whatever. The OP seemed to drop a sincere post about a novel asking for advice on publishing. For the amusement of about half a dozen you guys start trolling. Why not give some advice along with your jabs? Then again we can let SIN fall to the wayside like the 600 club. We can have a network dominated by six active users while five thousand remain silent. If that is the general census lets just close the doors now. We will call it Circle of Defecation . 

@ OP- I would look into feral house publishing. Also any publishers that publish occult books. Check out the PDF library. Look for similar titles and subject matters. Feral house published a lot of LaVey latter works. 

Feral House

Quote from Zach Black Alright guys and .... whatever. The OP seemed to drop a sincere post about a novel asking for advice on publishing. For the amusement of about half a dozen you guys start trolling. Why not give some advice along with your jabs? Then again we can let SIN fall to the wayside like the 600 club. We can have a network dominated by six active users while five thousand remain silent. If that is the general census lets just close the doors now. We will call it Circle of Defecation .

Well, that's easily corrected.

The first response dictates the rest of the thread.  Get in first and people are more likely to join you (and your tone) in directing the thread.  Or just step in every time you see it. You will see people go back on their initial trolling and revise it when you reestablish the standards you want.  Now they'll say,  You should consider a PDF. 

I am a published author and poet.  If he truly wants help, I can direct him to Publisher's Marketplace but especially Querytracker.com.  It starts with googling "literary agent" which is the only way to truly be published in this day and age.  No longer do publication houses open their doors.  Also, the novel length is far too long, and you have to define genre.  Is this thriller?  Is this horror?  Is this romance?  This trope has been done a thousand times before!  Hence paranormal romance.  I'm currently doing an exclusive revision request for a literary agent and I can tell you, no matter your accolades or talent, it takes grit and perseverance and learning how to write and market your book.  Also, the rejection is unfathomable to most human beings!  I like to save my rejections on full requests - and I've had full request rejections from about every top agent in the sci fi fantasy business.  It comes with being an early twenties idiot with vast amounts of talent but issues with plot.  You need beta readers.  You need to send out query letters in about 5-10 batches, then wait maddening months for agents to respond.  Most of the time you get silence.  It's not just easy or you have a right to be published - earn it by proving us that your take on the Satanic romance trope is not just a dime a dozen.  Trust me, I gobble those novels up!  They are uniform and derivative and you need to have a pearl of wisdom and revelation to make the demonic lover trope stand out!  If you truly want help, PM me.  I am happy to critique a few pages and help you with your query letter.  Literary agents represent any  nationality, but the best ones are in America.  Locuses of publication are NYC, Denver, and Boston.  Some good ones like Sandra Djikstrika in Cali.  Then there is the debate over whether you want an agent like Russell Galen or Joshua Bilmes or Dongwon Song or a newer one that does not represent a host of Hugo and Nebula award winning authors.  Those have all had my fulls and they will tell you straight up if you are worth anything.  Don't believe your friends that your writing is great - my writing used to be shit when I was 22-24. Only at 25 is it somewhat better.  My first full request was from Neil Gaiman and Octavia Butler's agent and I embarassed the hell out of myself sending her this retarded novel full of purple prose about Satan romancing Eve.  I was only 21 when I finished it and thought I was hot shit.  if you learn anything in publishing, you learn you are not hot shit.  It humble and humiliates you.  I have come so close so many times with agents nearly taking me on, and if AK didn't keep distracting me, I would have finished my novel edits already and sent them away to the publisher.  My novel is with a bunch of agents and directly with publishers too.  Other good resources are Queryshark and Twitter!  You NEED a Twitter account for pitching contests, branding, following industry news, and following agents.  It's also a great way to find CPs and authors.  Please, please, remember to revise.  99.9% of queries end up nos.  .1% are partial and full requests.  .001% get taken on as agents.  Often, first novels suck.  It takes ten years to be good at writing, according to Stephen King.  So write the flowery prose and ideas you love even if they've been beaten to death!  Take risks with narrative and plot format!  Try first person present tense or third omniescent.  Rack up writing accolades in professional journals and anthologies.  And you CAN turn tropes into success.  My retarded Samael and Eve story is now being published by a short story anthology for pro publication.  I had a grain of wisdom in the idea, and worked on that for about six years.  This is a long haul game.  Please oh please read Flannery O'Connor's short stories and master short stories and poetry first before you work on novels.  Over 500 pages is way too long for a debut, and soliciting advice on a website like this while giving your identity away is much better replaced by joining Absolute Write and finding beta readers and critique partners.  This is not just an art, this is fucking work, and you are in for a world of nos and pain.

Unless you want to publish on Amazon, to which I say, is fun!  Self-publishing is great, and I enjoy a lot of self-published novels.   A lot of indie presses also have open submissions.  if this truly is romance, look up Entangled and Carina.  DAW and Tor also accept unsolicited.  

Something about staying in the game playing the game doot doot doot from the Hamilton musical.  Head in the game to win it.

OW

Where do you get the right, Corpseboy.  Universe's Garbage Disposal.  Boniface.  Bonebutt.  Sammaelwich.

I CAN EASILY WRITE YOU OUT OF EXISTENCE, BONEBUTT.  WATCH ME MAKE YOU A PERMANENT RESIDENT OF THE FIERY LAKE WHERE EVEN YOUR SCYTHE WILL MELT AND THE WORD "NO" IS YOUR CHASTITY BELT.

Sure thing Satan.

I created a facebook group for my novel. I want somebody to help me release it. I am not able to release it myself worldwide because I am living in a fucked up country that is not English speaking. And personally I think this novel was the lamest novel I ever wrote. I was writing other novels before but I never finished them because I was too lazy. After long time writing I finished this novel. But it is lame and because I am not an English speaking man and English is not my native language there are many grammatical mistakes in the book.

Quote from PrinceLucifer I created a facebook group for my novel. I want somebody to help me release it. I am not able to release it myself worldwide because I am living in a fucked up country that is not English speaking. And personally I think this novel was the lamest novel I ever wrote. I was writing other novels before but I never finished them because I was too lazy. After long time writing I finished this novel. But it is lame and because I am not an English speaking man and English is not my native language there are many grammatical mistakes in the book. 

аз не говоря вашия родния език. Аз дори не знам какъв е звуковите звуци на тези писма. Успях да напиша последователен отговор. 

If I put the above into a translator it comes out as: 

I do not speak your native language. I do not even know what the sounds of these letters are. I managed to write a consistent answer.

Originally consistant was coherent.

Other than that transliteration was a success.

For example, what would happen if I translated this very sentence through many other languages before translating that to english?

(English -> Albanian -> French -> Korean -> Danish -> English)

E-faked.

Published by English and English translation of English translation of translations for translators?

So my suggestion is you try using Google Translate.

And AK is right no one here is going to help you with your stupid novel.

Ouch.

Your not going to g to get anywhere without an agent.

I deleted the novel and gave up releasing it. I think it was really lame.