How did you discover Satanism? | Forum

Mine was around 15. (1998) 

My group of friends hung out at the house of the kid whose dad was an agent Orange sprayed, malaria infected Army Ranger named Mike. His several tours left him on a Harley with a different take on religion and society. Their bookshelf had EVERY RELIGIOUS book ever written. Huge occult religion section. They had grimoires, The Necronomicon, and their lovely First Edition Satanic Bible to name a few. 

One night when everyone was passed out I was still up. So I raided their bookshelf and picked that.  

And I was disappointed. I skimmed it for the lulz and I remember "sea horses", "Satanic Sex" and pages of what I thought was gibberish. I remember thinking what the fuck is all this "Nadir eeg lo derp a woppa hoozit" shit? A materials list? What the fuck is this shit? Let's try The Book of Mormon next. 

I actually didn't really learn what Satanism was until about 2013 and I started to posting at SIN to kill time in my mandatory AA meetings. I thought, "This is the furthest thing from these pathetic people. Plus (that chick I really shouldn't fuck with any more) might still be around these boards. I can fuck with her back maybe." 

The latter of the two reasons plunging into Satanism became a rather froggy experience. Sigh. 

I think I discovered it within myself, but it was the occult combined with a limited choice in forums that led me to the Satanic Sites.

I knew a bit about Satanism as a teenager but it was only that it's not about killing cats and eating babies. I knew Satanists had their church and I imagined they attended Black Mass regularly and held sex orgies. I read the Satanic Bible and other LaVey's works in my late twenties. It was the time when I was generally interested in controversial things, like the occult, Freemasonry, atheism, Satanism and black metal bands. It was some sort of morbid curiosity.

The first forum I joined was Letters to the Devil. I stumbled upon it accidentally and wasn't really going to sign up. But it had a section called "VIP" and I thought I had to create an account to read it. It turned out you had to pay to read the stuff there but I thought that since I joined it would be good to introduce myself. In the beginning, people thought that I was yet another stupid Xtian trying to convert them. When they learned I read their literature and wasn't their stereotypical Christian, they became more friendly.

I discovered Satanism through music originally. I went to an evangelical school, I never fitted in and I was looked upon as being "not Christian" enough just because I didn't listen to their "Christian" rock music. During the 5th grade my history teacher mentioned the Church of Satan, saying how bad these people are. This however got a hold of the better of me, at 11 years old I started coming across Metal from watching stuff on Music Choice and MTV, that is how I came across Satanic imagery being used by bands such as Slayer and Dimmu Borgir.

The symbols including the Prince of Darkness gained my interest into Satanism from there. Back then I had no knowledge of the Satanic literature that was out there across the internet. I began looking up new age stuff out of my own curiosity, I started to explore things such as Wicca etc. The white light new age stuff didn't appeal to me at all. I remember at 12 years old I decided to read the book "Wicca for Beginners," the book was pretty biased labeling "Satanists," and "Black Magicians" to be evil. At that age I knew it was bull shit, so it attracted me more into the Left Hand Path once when I saw those same biases as I saw through the evangelical environment that I was at.

At age 14 through 15 my dad became a born again Christian, I was made to go to church. From there on out, my relationship with my dad started to whither away, at 14 years old I was thinking about running away from home. During those age periods I began using the internet. Believe it or not I started to find Satanic online youth groups on gaming platforms. But most of them weren't true Satanists or practitioners on the Left Hand Path, they were I guess you could say online Satanists at best. Going on the internet is where I started to find Zach Blacks youtube channel, including Thomas Leroy. From there on out, I began finding plenty of Satanic literature to read on such as LaVey, Flowers, RedBeard etc. The internet was really the only place I could have my privacy to read about Satanism. At the time I wasn't in good standing with my parents being a minor and all. 

Now in my early twenties I'm still walking on the Left Hand Path and evolving. What attracted me to Satanism was the logic, one's personal Sovereignty, and autonomy. I liked how Satanism focused on reality of the here and now, compared to some Wiccan who is busy in over believing in their spells, or is busy focusing on mother earth.

I discovered Satanism through a dude named Stivers in prison in 2011. Read the Satanic Bible in the section. C.O.S was huge in the prison where I was at.

Can't recall. One thing is for sure, I optimize it through everyday life. If you are realistic about what you see, you won't change your mind. 

   Motherfucker in which prison?

In a sociology class, I was randomly assigned a 'cult' to give a paper and presentation on.  I was given "Satanism".  

At the time, I had left my old faith only a few years prior.  I agreed with LaVey's philosophy in general, but decided his tone was needlessly antagonistic and abrasive.  It fascinated me, but spooked me all the same, tapping into some residual fears ingrained from my old faith.  

I studied various paths over the next ten years such as Buddhism, Taoism, Celtic Paganism.  I learned something from each, but they all inevitably wandered off into the metaphysical.  

LaVey's relentlessly grounded approach to reality and his encouragement to embrace one's own nature is ultimately what I needed, I discovered.  What I once saw as a needlessly antagonistic tone, I have since embraced as therapeutic. The centuries of oppression of thought and living imposed by Christian imperialism upon those who do not fit their mold is deserving of all that expressed anger.  

I was around 19, early 2000s era. I had been listening to Marilyn Manson and found out about his associations with an oddball named Anton Lavey. I decided to look into Lavey's philosophy. I looked at alot of websites, including the official CoS website, and websites by people who were Laveyan Satanists. Vexen Crabtree had a digital copy of The Satanic Bible on his website you could access for free, and that was when I first read that book. It 'made sense' as it did to alot of kids who grew up in the 90s. I was more into the philosophy, and after that, while studying visual arts for a year, I looked into the works of Nietzsche, Camus, Kafka, etc. On a side note, there were alot more personal websites back then (early 2000s) than there are today, and it's regrettable, in my view, that these are much less of a thing. 

Since looking up Lavey, I got into other LHP groups like the ToS, that I spent alot of time studying, and ultimately rejected as a waste of time. ONA more recently. 

I take a more individualistic approach, nowadays, focusing on facts and rejecting that which is founded on illusions. If spirituality means anything to me, it's more about the experience of the magical in this life than about projecting whatever hopes and/or fears one may have unto an afterlife.
I do credit Lavey for getting me into philosophy. He (through his writings) also introduced me both to a darkly aesthetic approach to the numinous and occult side of life, as well as to the idea the occult world didn't have to be a thing for the  dimwitted. But Lavey was just a gateway drug to better things. 

(I made some edits to this post for clarity and (more) accurate wording)