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Absolutely hilarious! | Forum
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Jan 12 '22
So I just had a hilarious memory from when I was in jail that I must share because it’s just too funny. So I was in jail for most of 2010 from this incident where I got in a hit and run and ran from the cops (two county chase) which eventually landed me in prison; but some of the time I was in this place called the Davis County work center where they let you out for part of the day to do various city jobs, or to go to your regular job if you had one. I cleaned the sheriffs offices and got paid minimum wage and it went towards my restitution for the cars that I hit (long story), anyways when you come back they strip search you every time. Well there was this one dude in there who would keister shit into the little dorm we were staying in for the people that weren’t able to leave for their regular jobs and sell it. One of the things he was keistering was chewing tobacco of all things. Some of the people in that jail were dumb enough to buy something that was up this dudes ass then put it in their mouth. Well, evidentially this guy has serious ass leakage because three dudes in the section got serious mouth infections from this chewing tobacco and had to go to the hospital because their lips got so big that it looked like those people from Africa that put those discs in their lips and their lips are all fat. It eventually got to the Sargent Joseph what was happening and the dude that was keistering shit in there got sent back to the main jail and got contraband charges. Lololol! I just thought of another funny thing with that jail. So in this jail, it was a dorm with about a hundred guys and they had candy machines in there and you can bring actual money into the jail to buy snacks. Well there was also a shower where all those 100 guys would shower and every guy in there would jerk it like they meant it in there and the spooge would end up caught in all the hair in these drains. It was the nastiest thing you’ve ever seen. Well I called this the orphanage. I would intentionally leave a quarter in this tangled mess of hair and cum and somebody would come in after me in the shower every time and pick up said quarter and eventually put it back in circulation for you and me to use every day lololol!
Cornelius Coburn
Jan 12 '22
I bet it would be a lot of fun running from the cops, but I'm just one of those people that worries too much about consequences, and I have gotten pulled over a lot fairly recently, but don't really have any reason to run. I do plan ahead for these types of situations as much as I can without ruining all the fun.
I have been pretty fucked up when pulled over and let go, and other times get arrested when I'm pretty close to sober. Never alcohol though. It's always the coolest mind altering drugs that work best for me, and of course the tweakers or five hours to supplement. Don't even like coffee anymore, caffeine is shit.
Cornelius Coburn
Jan 12 '22
It's funny. I was just thinking. I do run from the cops, but I do it prior to it becoming an actual situation. At times if I think there is a cop in back of me. I might take a quick turn down a dark road at night to evade and go wherever it leads. It can be a little exciting.
Cornelius Coburn
Jan 12 '22
I remember one time I got pulled over the cop said he had to do over a hundred to catch up to me, and we kind of laughed about it, and the reason why is because every time the lights went out of my rearview I tried dusting them.
