This is how bored I am.
Long ago on The Isle of Zorblin there were three ancient people. They were; The Zorps, The Flingals, and The Cha'utts.
These three peoples had a long and complicated history of ideological bickering and warfare.
Originally they began as a colony of Zorps. All Zorps had the same ideology. An ideolgy born from previous ones. They were of one mind, like The Borg. But unlike The Borg they could change. Sorta.
For years it was a zorping utopia. All Zorp all the time.
Then came the schism. Well, not really. A Zorp named Matron Flingal came along and decided to have a very minor difference with The High Council of The Zorps and split off in a damning written indictment.
Now The Zorps were split into Zorps and Flingals, a sect of the Zorp. As different as the previous divergence between western and earstern orthodox zorps. It was a split of a split with many more to come, but not here and not on The Island of Zorblin.
For many years thereafter it was Flingals pipe-bombing their brethren with a different name. A bitter hostile 'peace', with some military scattered skirmishes persisting without resolve. The War continues.
Then a third group diverged from the original Zorps. A group of non-belief born within Zorp culture. Yet, due to the inquisitive and unforgiving nature of Zorp society they could not come forward as such. They called themselves Cha'utts, a word taken from the Zorp Holy Doctrine, The Mandatoria's, Book of Pain and Punishment.
The Cha'utts believed the doctrine was total control bullshit, but were still forced to keep it as unspoken as they could out of threat of reprisal, as the punishment for the crime of "unbelief" was death.
Many Cha'utts failed in this most basic demand.
The Zorp High Council was known to do random "prostration sweeps" to enforce prayer. Homes would be picked at random and occupants tested for heresy. All Cha'utts would meet their end if their house was to be picked and random and The High Guard showed up to force them to pray.
The Sergeant of Arms would give the occupant 30 seconds to recite "The Protection Prayer" lest be decapitated by a sword.
Needless to say Cha'utts were naturally against that type of society and their days of the cloak and dagger would ultimately roast in the ideological fire. It continues on to this day.
Then one day an explorer came upon this lost island of pygmies. Did I forget to mention that they are pygmies? Because they are pygmies.
Anyway, the explorer couldn't believe it. He met the High Priest. He dined at the royal table. He learned of their society, their way and their warring. He learned of the schisms and subdivisions. He learned of their trajectory to that point.
As he learned he grew confused. There seemed to be something bugging him.
"Can you repeat that?" He asked the high priest, because they all spoke the same language and could understand each-other.
Responded The High Priest, "Of course. We consider all Flingals the same as Cha'utts. They are evil. Sent by darkness to destroy us all."
The explorer grew even more confused. Perplexed even. He then grew the nerve to voice his internal conundrum, "So you are basically saying, even though all Flingals are Zorps and Some Zorps are Cha'utts; all Flingals are definitely Cha'utts? That just seems false to me."
The End.
Yes, that bored. And you don't get your time back either. :P
The Wall