CrimsonVirus5150's blog

So back when I was in school, I used to get fucked with a lot because of how different I was. I mean I look like any high school metal head. Except my hair was never black, only red. Yeah I wore tripp pants every now and then but that was mainly during colder months.


Well anyways, I was sitting in class with a friend practicing Arabic. I really wanted to use my multi-language skill at that time to get a scholarship. And here's the thing, I was one of the school's heavy weight power lifters, (I used to do squat, bench, and dead lift 220 lbs). And I was sitting there, going over flash cards with a friend when a bunch of this 80-90 lbs females with enormous bows, bit ass obnoxious crosses, (I lived in Texas) and everyone except maybe 5-7 of us in the school were not Baptists. 

Now with the swing of an arm I could have easily hurt these females. Because I also played softball. About 4-5 of them started dumping water on me, and beating the shit out of me with these fucking bibles. Now as this is going threw my head, I could 2 things:

First: Just fucking loose it. Every one wants to call me the "Red Diablos" Fine. I will show them Red Diablos. 

Second: Let them, because I know the type of damage I could easily so on their very tiny bodies if I just swung my arms and hit them to the point of knocking them out with one hit.

OR.... Or the third option: Grabbing the leaders wrist, I squeezed her wrist making her fall to her knees. In a calm but firm voice I reminded them that at that time I was Catholic. And that I was practicing a language to go to a better school than the stupid fucking Christian College that the high school wanted me to go to. And that next time they hit me or even so much came near me, that I was going to make the Satan himself proud with what I was going to do with their bodies and souls. Needless to say, they never ever did that again.

I ended up moving schools because we moved back to Colorado. Now being back in Colorado Springs, I didn't really run into that problem again. And thats when I realized that so many tiny towns, and small communities really make it difficult for most people when they are trying to not only find out who they are, but what they are. 

Am I saying all tiny communities are like this? No, no I am not. But what I am saying is this: people suck and they are quick to blame anything on Satan, or another language that is just being used to open new doors into one's life.

Recently I saw the Satanic Church going to these protests. And it got me thinking, how many of us have gone to these? I am not gonna lie, I went to one here in Colorado. (It was in Downtown Colorado Springs.) At first it was pretty chill, until some dickwad threw a firework at the cops first. (I have the video) And then thats when everything went to shit.


So the question is this, have you gone? If not, why? If you have, why and what happened when you went?

Ok to the question to everyone is this: Who is ready for the second wave of virus outbreaks? I get the protesting and all of that. But what I am also very concerned for is the virus. 
AH HA! AFTER A LONG ASS TIME I HAVE FINALLY BEEN ABLE TO AFFORD THIS DAMN SHIRT!!! What do you guys think?
Hey everyone, I figured it be a good idea to check up on everyone. How you doing? How's the hold on everything treating you? Please tell me you did not hit up your ex. Found any new type of tasty snacks or meals?
Alright so a bit of a vent. At college I wear dark sunglasses all day because I do not know what it is, but the lights there just give me a screaming headache like no other. And of course I wear my pentagram. This girl is now convinced that I am gonna shoot up the college. Oh yeah, I am so threatening with a mouth food stuffed, (it was one of those breakfast sandwich) an orange soda running to Algebra class! 


What is the dumbest thing someone has said to you? What was the dumbest thing done just because of your looks? Cause no the damn security is always standing near me. I just wanted to go to damn class!

What are your personal thoughts on someone who likes Satanism just for the looks, but doesn't like anything else to do with it? If they are willing to listen, would you be willing to teach them? Show them? Or anything like that?
So I was talking with my mother about many random things. Which is what I like to do. My biggest thing I love telling her is what I am studying at that particular moment, or what I am wanting to study. 


Now keep in mind, I look at a different fuck ton of beliefs, different point of views and so on. Anytime I mentioned ANYTHING to so with Satanism or anything like that, she would give me this look that scared the fuck outta me. (BTW it still does, and I am 26!) So anyways, I was telling her about this Pagan book, and she had no issue with it. Me thinking that the cost was clear, I slightly slipped in the fact that I was reading a Anton Lavey book and she nearly ripped my head off. 


Now a bit of background, my whole family is Catholic. And when anything goes wrong, whether it may be because one of my aunts or whatever thinks that they are being followed my a ghost or whatever, I have heard if them talk about getting a priest and a Demonologist. (Almost all of my family is recovered hardcore drug addicts.) So anyways, I figured because it was part of the Catholic religion, why not check it out and see from different point of views. Yeah....no, that did not happen. It turned from harmless research to me being screamed at for like 2 days but not only my mom, but a chunk of the family. THEN to put the icing on the cake, everyone ignored me for a bit. Yeah I know, doesn't sound that bad, but keep in mind, I was in a different state alone. And I wasn't use to being in a state where no family was. And I was younger to. So it was still new. 


So after about a week and being called names blah, blah, blah.....They finally talked to me. After that I never brought up all what I was learning. I know my story isn't, or even near as bad as others, but its just a thought I had. Has anyone ever got yelled at for studying or even looked at something that their family didn't like?

Ok soo......I am just gonna start off by saying this, I have decided to post my own personal journey. Now please keep this in mind, I am completely clueless. And I am learning on my own. So if I say something wrong, or do something wrong or whatever, PLEASE correct me and show me the right way. My teacher has been gone for so long. And I am literally like a lost puppy dog lol.  


Now for the million dollar question: Why Satanism?


I think it really caught my eye, was when the rape at home wouldn't stop. Then it his the apex point when I was molested by someone who I trusted. He knew what I had been threw, but yet took advantage. Now, at that this time I kept asking myself, "If god loves me, and he has a plan, why must I be raped, molested and more? I've been a good girl. I don't even like killing spiders and stuff. Why do I have to be hurt? Where is my guardian angel? Why?" 


After running away from the last pervert that had just got done trying to yank me into their car, I just lost it. So I sat down after a long mental breakdown, I had my favorite drink and some pizza and decided to try to find a new God, or religion or something that would not only love me, but keep me safe. I for one do not like these plans that are made for me. I prefer to make up my own plan. I don't like when decisions are made for me. 


That's when I started to meet other people from different religions. I sure the hell was not gonna do anything with Christianity. Hell I was blamed, and even told that the rape was my fault. And that I should just get over it. That's when I actually met another person who had been threw what I had. For once, I felt joy. I felt like there was someone out there just like me. And for once in a long time, I felt like I could trust. That's when I was told with Satanism, the men who had done this to me, would get their own. I think personally the best part was when the person said, " Hey its ok to hate them for what they did. They deserve it. You don't have to love your enemy. Because that bullshit is what got you in this in the first place. You loved them and they used that love to hurt you. So go ahead and hate them, you have every right." And it was at that point, I just bursted into tears. It was so...so...amazing to know that I didn't have to just let them get away with it. 


And that's how I started down this path. Now is this the right branch of this religion for me? I don't know. Am I gonna get confused as fuck? Probably. Am I gonna try and learn as much as possible? Fuck yes! So let's see how this goes. 

Ok so here are my thoughts on something. I recently got into it with one of my friends about satanism. And all she could do is yell at me about my pendent that I had at the time. (sadly it was stolen) As well as the fact I am curious and learning about the different types of Satanism. So as you can imagine I got really pissed off. Because every Satanist I have ever met was so kind, and so much to hang out. Not only that, the individuals I had the honor of meeting have made me laugh so hard that I damn near had tears running down my eyes!


So when she said all of this, I got extremely heated. And I flipped out at her. I told her that I would rather hang out with Satanist, Luciferians, ect than hang out with a fake christian such as herself. Sense then we have not spoken. Now I know each to their own, everyone can believe in what they want, but....ehh.....I can't stand when you don't practice what you believe in. Honestly I am not sure what I am myself, but what I do know is this, I don't care what you are. I will always be happy to be your friend, and defend you till the day I die, And even after that. 

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Satanic International Network was created by Zach Black in 2009.