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Ok soo......I am just gonna start off by saying this, I have decided to post my own personal journey. Now please keep this in mind, I am completely clueless. And I am learning on my own. So if I say something wrong, or do something wrong or whatever, PLEASE correct me and show me the right way. My teacher has been gone for so long. And I am literally like a lost puppy dog lol.  

Now for the million dollar question: Why Satanism?

I think it really caught my eye, was when the rape at home wouldn't stop. Then it his the apex point when I was molested by someone who I trusted. He knew what I had been threw, but yet took advantage. Now, at that this time I kept asking myself, "If god loves me, and he has a plan, why must I be raped, molested and more? I've been a good girl. I don't even like killing spiders and stuff. Why do I have to be hurt? Where is my guardian angel? Why?" 

After running away from the last pervert that had just got done trying to yank me into their car, I just lost it. So I sat down after a long mental breakdown, I had my favorite drink and some pizza and decided to try to find a new God, or religion or something that would not only love me, but keep me safe. I for one do not like these plans that are made for me. I prefer to make up my own plan. I don't like when decisions are made for me. 

That's when I started to meet other people from different religions. I sure the hell was not gonna do anything with Christianity. Hell I was blamed, and even told that the rape was my fault. And that I should just get over it. That's when I actually met another person who had been threw what I had. For once, I felt joy. I felt like there was someone out there just like me. And for once in a long time, I felt like I could trust. That's when I was told with Satanism, the men who had done this to me, would get their own. I think personally the best part was when the person said, " Hey its ok to hate them for what they did. They deserve it. You don't have to love your enemy. Because that bullshit is what got you in this in the first place. You loved them and they used that love to hurt you. So go ahead and hate them, you have every right." And it was at that point, I just bursted into tears. It was so...so...amazing to know that I didn't have to just let them get away with it. 

And that's how I started down this path. Now is this the right branch of this religion for me? I don't know. Am I gonna get confused as fuck? Probably. Am I gonna try and learn as much as possible? Fuck yes! So let's see how this goes.