User blogs

I have got just the fifty percent of your heart

our lives are indeed divided

as if they weren't already by the brutality of life

I feel like a prisoner

maybe men made life into a prison

they arrested their soul

I feel like I have lost something

I feel like true happiness is impossible

because of them

I feel like this world isn't made for free spirits

I feel like under the law of a powerful universal tyrant

that rule everything

I feel like I'm a cathedral in the desert

and I have just wilderness

and they have everything

except what I have

and so they are unhappy, having everything

and I resist, having nothing

but I still am in this wasteland

in this arid wilderness

alone, I'm indeed an hermit

against the world

with a message who could free them all

but I know very well the fate of prophets

and I don't accept it

I am a giant and noble rebellion

I condemn this stupid world

May it fall, may it collapse

may be destroyed, this unjust world

Fire, hidden in the darkest night

hidden from every powerful man

unknown, under the ground

it resists

facing a world of terrifying darkness

it is the fire of Hell

the fire of justice

we still here, after centuries of genocide

burning for truth

burning in the name of nature

against an ugly and unjust world

burn this world

purify

with the fire of philosophy

die, transform, overcome, destroy, create, fight!

SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS

a deadly curse upon God

you will never have my unique soul

I will fight against the whole world

and if I will die you won't survive me

a challenge, a noble duel

unequal fight, but what is equal?

Conquer your might! Defeat who is superior!

Take his heart, eat it for Mars!

Blessed be the crazy ones

Cursed be the idiots

crazy like a true revolutionary

one, who, with a sentence, issue a sentence of death!

Who is afraid of words?

I know who! These words are a knife

a noble knife of someone screaming

DON'T TREAD ON ME

a knife that frightens the evil men

a knife of justice!

deadly, bloody words, you may be hurt

and they are meant to that

words are swords that hurt

a poem can be a true duel

I'm a warrior, and I challenge

cursed be who doesn't fight

is already a slave

nothing you will get

without struggle

nothing you will achieve

without true hate

death to the dead

cries nature

death to this dead world!

My existence is void. Vacant whims sometimes distract me from the truth. But the ubiquitous emptiness will always prevail. I think if I would let myself see me as I am, I would die. 
This black hole that will ultimately end my life, is ravenous to be whole but it cannot due to it's own nature. it feeds off me.  draining my ability to see the dwindling meaning of right and wrong. Soon I will be consumed, melting into a part of the greater picture.. empty, alone, and no longer of substance. Then nothing, nothing at all. No pain, no need to feel ugly, no need for anything at all.

A dim red light glowed softly, gently, as not to disturb the perfect darkness. An ancient silence whispered in my ear, “nihil hic vivit, neque etiam te….”
As if painted on the tail of a lost memory, the words came from within. “Nothing lives here, not even you.”

 

   I had no recollection of being elsewhere, but a faint murmur, echoed songs from another world. A dense haze blanketed the bridges connecting this realm with others.  A million miles of blackness stretched from far below me to infinity. It seemed I looked down from space at a world long forgotten, and saw a much younger me. She returned my gaze, pleading urgently for something I couldn’t recall. It occurred to me as she stared at me with hopeful eyes that she hadn’t a clue that she was wishing upon a dead star.  

A steady “thump-thump” drummed through the atmosphere. That rhythm lived here in the shadows, sleeping with its red night light. A cozy warmth enveloped me.  I thought that perhaps I might just stay here forever, in blissful nothingness.

 

An unwelcomed light appeared, making its way through the fog, relentlessly pushing itself out of the dark.  From the empty came swarms of insects, beetles perhaps.  Magnetically drawn to the fluorescent beam, the insects terminated themselves.  One by one, obliterated like fallen soldiers on enemy turf.

 

 

The light forced its way through the empty until there was only brightness.  I floated on gentle waves of sparkling, blue water.  A slight scent of salt tinged the mild breeze.  For just a moment, things were perfect.

And just before I was about to slip into dumb complacency, a glistening wall of water appeared. A Trojan horse barreled towards me at a super-sonic speed. Death wrapped in a sparkling box, with white ribbon, engulfed me. It felt like I was tumbling around in a washing machine that I couldn’t turn off.  Lost in the infinity of an abyss, the dwindling remains of my conscience short circuited.

 

            A faint “thump-thump,” rolled through a familiar void.  It appeared a living entity, who came from within me and outside me; protected me perhaps. Steadily the drumming began to crescendo. No longer could I distinguish myself as a separate being.  The tempo remained steady, while a pressure grew around me, and became progressively more intense.  The red light dwindled and merged with a new white light.

The piercing rays glowed more intensely as I made my way through the cramped tunnel. People cooed at me and made funny faces at me. I let loose a reptilian cry. Eventually I escaped into daydreams.

  A still emptiness held me, begging my attention.  And from within, a film began-    a collage of memories.  “Make it stop,” I cried into the deaf ear of infinity. 

 

Remembering my childhood, the awkward tensions of early adulthood, and finally sometime near the present. I felt violated.

 

Through a veil of condensation, an inner reflection escaped into the night.   Everything was so hazy. 

 

Nightfall lurked nearby.  Although cloaked with trees and pine needles, a surreal realm of familiarity merged with an uncertain forever.  Not so far away, an outline twisted and turned into the present.  Someone was drowning in a small body of water that was otherwise stagnant.

 

In the murky night, I saw her submerge into the water. Darkness swallowed her and she was gone.  The sobering recollection pushed its way forward; my dear little sister.

Again, I was consumed to vacancy… loneliness concealed in a dense fog. 
Sadness resonated from the mist--- a wailing wall of grief, pain and isolation

A dark figure emerged. It appeared feminine, clad in long flowing black robes and a hood that hid its face. 

 The figure spoke. Its voice confirmed that it was undeniably female.

"I've been waiting for you." She said, in a soft almost melodic voice. 
I paused, baffled.
Only a soft, “why is that?” escaped my lips.

“I've come to collect you."


An anvil of dread dropped on me.

"come. Walk with me.”

The apparition woman remained calm. “There is only one way out,” she whispered.

She motioned me to follow her into the fog.


I followed her down a windy stairwell that never seemed to end. The fog seemed to be getting even thicker. Sorrow lived here.

After decades of descending steps, we finally reached the bottom. There was nothing there--- just a door. From it, darkness tinged with a reddish glow, seeped through its cracks.

Perspiration dripped down my face. I wanted to run but there was nowhere to run. I wanted to get out of there.

I forced myself to ask, “Where does this door go?” 

“I think you know the answer to that question,” she said. 

The concept of hell had always fascinated me, although I didn’t really believe it to be real.  I assumed that the idea of a “nether world,” was a scare tactic used to hinder people from doing pleasant things.

 

I pinched myself, half-believing I’d wake up. A foul taste filled my mouth and for a moment, I thought I might vomit. 

A dull state of awareness found me in an overflowing bathtub.  Unable to move, I felt a beast known as panic pounce on my submerged head.  Little waves of thought crashed undistinguishably.  I thought to myself, “this is what it’s like. This is what it feels like to die.  Fading screams, begging me to fight for survival reverberated through semi-consciousness.

             

            Without warning, my last recollections waltzed in.  The bottle of sedatives the running bath water.  I planned this. 

 

         The bathroom fogged from the bath’s evaporation. It blurred into misty grey. Breathing proved an impossible task. My survival instincts dulled.

 

       The condensation grew thicker.  And from it, the lady in black emerged.  She took my hand in hers, almost comforting me. A dim red light glowed through the crack in the bathroom door that was no longer the bathroom door. 

 

      I turned to take one last glimpse of my lifeless body. The over flowing water sparkled deceptively. Warm water splashed in my exhausted lungs.

I turned back to the woman in black.

“Come it is time,” she said.
  and I followed her into the immense nothingness.