User blogs

Just know when I go I lived my life the way I wanted. I made some mistakes sure. Few of us have not. I enjoyed my time for the most part and the friends and loved ones I had. I have lived a full life... probably enough for several lives. 

When it comes time to drift off into the great beyond I will be back bigger and better than before to haunt you fucks all over again. 

I have met some great people and had some great experiences through out this journey. I would like to think that I added to push the wheel of Satanism forward if even a few inches. 

Hail Satan     ZB 

As the title suggests, this is the first volume of the SIN quarterly journal. The term journal is here used in the broadest possible sense. If you would like to contribute to the journal, I'll suggest a few different methods. It should go without saying that the preferred way to publish is by carving your article into your flesh using a rusty and dull butter knife.

The first method is simply to write a blog post and post it today, with an ALL CAPS TITLE SAYING SIN QUARTERLY JOURNAL VOL. 1 (I think) FOLLOWED BY "The Title of Your Insignificant Yet Grandiose Article". Of course you can always post on May 23, the next time I plan to take a stab at this.

Alternatively, you could also post your articles in the comments section of this article, thereby collecting everything in the same spot so interested folks can read it all in the same place. All commentators and trolls will of course be welcome to post in the comments, but they will not earn the lofty made up by me title "Journal Contributor" unless they follow the following formatting as the first line of their comment ALL CAPS TITLE SAYING SIN QUARTERLY JOURNAL VOL. 1 (I think) FOLLOWED BY "The Title of Your Insignificant Yet Grandiose Article".

Now that I've got that most boring element of this article written, on to something less boring, but still not all that sexy. The reason I'm writing this article and suggesting that all you lovely SINners with an inclination to write, record, discuss, and experiment in a textual way do so in this journal. 

I was mincing about the house one day wearing nothing but plastic Halloween devil horns when I thought to myself, "Golly gee, I haven't checked out SIN in a while. I wonder if there is anything cool going on there right now?" Never mind the many discussions I've had with myself in the mirror about what exactly cool means, and what could possibly be going on on a social networking website that could be anything other than a way to divert myself from thinking about my impending doom at the hands of an ancient orangutan dressed in a fancy (yet still trashy) blue business suit (with white cuffs).

So I logged on to SIN and messaged a bunch of random people who I'd talked to since I joined in September. When most of them (But not you Crystal :)) didn't reply I just trolled the newsfeed until I found a forum topic about the passionate, yet tragically impotent idea of a SIN quarterly journal. I like writing random shit on SIN, but I felt that I was creatively reaching the end of the road when it came to writing here. The idea of a journal set my mind alight, and here I am, cranking out more shit from my laptop to an ungrateful, elitist horde of at least dozens of cheeto dusted nerds. AT LEAST.

I also thought that three months would give me enough time to write and do the research for something really expansive and high quality, and the deadline would be close enough that I would take it semi-seriously, and actually focus for roughly half the hours spent writing it. Such an article is coming on May 23, should this whole quarterly journal thing gain any traction, and my ego is summarily satisfied by enough stroking in the form of views, comments, and high ratings.

Now on to my third, final, and sexy topic. Cyber Magick baby. The most obvious representation of it is this website. Surely good ol' Mr. Black either explicitly or implicitly called upon principles and practices of greater magick in the LaVeyan sense when he created this website. Whenever magick interacts with Cyberspace, I would call that Cyber Magick. Now, what Zach intended, and whether that has come to fruition, or is still a fruit waiting for enough water and sunshine to bud is a question to which only he knows the answer. But through this portal, I see the possibility of a lot of interesting Magick being done.

My first idea would be to coordinate a bunch of people in different parts of the world to do some ritual where if you drew a line from each of them to the other on a map, it would trace out a sigil, then do some sort of ritual. Pretty nifty huh?

So there's my idea folks, use this website for ritual magick, and presto, you're doing cybermagick, which if nothing else sounds cool, and that's enough for me.

So please think about a good book that others might find interesting and add it. At the top of this box on the left you will see a string of small boxes with icons in them. Click the link button. It is very simple. 

I say physical journey rather than spiritual journey because I want to distance myself as much as possible from spirituality, because that is a loaded term which for me bears too much resemblance to religion. There is power in aesthetics, and though I may only reject the term spiritual on an aesthetic basis, I believe that this gives me sufficient linguistic distance that I can allow myself to believe that I have nothing to do with old ideas of spirituality religion so ingrained into me by existing in my current cultural context.

Spirituality of does not necessarily have to have anything to do with religion. Anything that you do that does not have an immediately observable and objective correlate outside of your own head is what I call spiritual. And it is fine and probably necessary for most humans to a certain extent to maintain such practices. The problem for me is the term, which I find to be ugly. It has been held for far too long by gurus of the new age and pompous priests of the middle ages, and they can have it. I want vital existence, which is in effect spirituality bent towards my will and personal understanding.

When I meditate I exist vitally. When I practice martial arts, play music, drink beer, fuck, perform well and intentionally at work, I am existing vitally. When existing vitally, there is no need for spirituality and the false dichotomy of spiritual/physical. There is in no demarcation line between the two except where it benefits the gatekeepers of the "spiritual". Where there is demarcation, it is only a meme generated by humans. Existence is the spirit and never stops, and my mission is to make it vital. When I die the reality that I created will continue on in those who I have irrevocably altered, and my remains too will be vital. I just wanted to make a death metal reference, and that was the point of this whole post, so take it with a mine of salt.

If you look at any martial arts club, from the nonsensical mystical bullshit taught in aikido to the primarily athletic, spectator sport martial art of western boxing, the trappings of magic and ritual are everywhere. Granted they are more obvious in many of the traditional asian martial arts, involving bowing, special clothes, meditation, and sometimes mantras. If you go to a boxing or mma gym, you can see many of the same categories of things, they just look superficially different. You see a lot of the same athletic gear like Everlast, Hayabusa, or Venum, worn to appease the martial spirits to be invoked. Or just to fit in. Or because those are high quality brands, and wearing a high quality brand will mean that you are a better fighter, at least in one's head at some level. 

Essentially all forms of martial arts or combat sports involve a preparatory period,  like striking the gong or lighting the incense in order to get the mind into the magical trance or mood necessary for spell-work. The preparatory period in the martial arts is a warm up, light exercises to prepare the body to get in to aroused state necessary to meet the upcoming demands of the workout or competition.

And then training happens. Much like a voodoo practictioner plunges needles into his poppet to destroy him, the kickboxer hits the heavy bag in preparation for the fight, simulating in as realistic a form as possible his opponent. The fighters who have teachers that keep current on the state of sports science are well aware of the utility of using visualization as a means to improve the skill of a fighters' techniques. Visualization of course is a time honoured tradition in many mystical and magical paths.

Each training session I argue is no different from a spell; what you do in the dojo is meant to make a certain outcome happen in the objective world. Some systems of martial arts utilize methods of training that are so byzantine that the outside observer can see little relation to that and the act of physical combat. Think of elaborate systems of choreographed movements, some of which are designed to improve woo woo as "chi". These fighters never let their spells come to fruition, their spells fail, for they seldom test their abilities in real life (at least I've found little evidence other than wild claims from their practitioners). 

If a truly devoted martial artist lifts weights and diets appropriately to further increase his performance in combat, this is the same thing: An act with absolutely no clear relation to the act of punching someone in the head until they fall down. Yet it cannot be denied that such fighters are those who in fact do defeat their opponents with the greatest skill and frequency, and if they chose could probably go into a crowded area and cause serious damage with nothing but their bodies. In other words, martial artists who have proven their ability through competition or street fights after casting their spells (years of training) are fucking wizards.

the change of the sky

as tones and shades dance between the viel

that separates us from the ancestors we once had known

double images intergrate in my mind

i see the life that has been before

a voice tells me i have been here before

the flow of the water

falling leaves to the ground

the ancient sound 

echoes of  our time

tell me were is it i can go

only back to you were I've always belonged.

Has anyone ever considered the possibility, that you may have at one point in your life, inadvertently killed somebody after setting of a chain-reaction of events that eventually leads to some tragedy for another person?

For example. A guy rams his trolley into your ankles at Wallmart and walks away without saying sorry. You call him a "prick", and he goes home in such an enraged mood that he murders his wife with a toilet plunger to the face.

I could potentially be starting a chain of events with this very post.

I know this might have seemed a bit scatter brained, however I don't want to take up too much time and tell a story.
This is just a simple window to parts of my life. 
The rest is up for you to ask. 
There are times of my life I will probably write about as a blog.
But they won't be shared in this present moment and time.
For those who wish to talk to me, I look forward to meeting you.

Have a pleasant evening.

For me it is great and the strange things that happen I find interesting. Also you can feel more energy on the two moon phases. Being out late ours give me a sense of fulfillment on any night to be honest.

As a child I became aware of the shadow within me at a very early age and by age 7 was very confused about what this was. Having given it several names and then accepting it as my twin, even telling other children about my sister who did not live with me but lived with my father who had separated from my Mother when I was one; she was not like me though, she was naughty, did what she wanted and could change how she looked, pretty like a girl at first but as I got used to her being around she slowly let me see her true self, so dark and mysterious and actually having no gender; I always knew it would never hurt me, it protected me.  

Obviously this all has to be put into a child's perspective of the world around them; mine was full of abuse and neglect. 

Satanism awakened me, only in the last couple of years, to this concept of "The Shadow" being the beast within me, my true self, the primeval ego of self preservation. I was The shadow. 

After many years of studying psychology to try to gain knowledge of what I knew had been happening for so many years yet was so surreal I almost was afraid to talk about it to anyone for want of them saying I was mad, nothing helped. 

I now know that to survive the abuse in my childhood I had separated my conscious self from the physical body, I had let the shadow out and all the animal instincts that came with it, considered sins by societies standards, to fight back, to attack those who attacked you, to do what I wanted, to live for myself, to love myself, to question and investigate, to gain knowledge and self growth... TO SURVIVE! 

Carl Jung on the "Shadow Self" by Thomas LeRoy

I AM SATAN. HAIL SATAN. 

First to start off, i wanted to talk about my experiences. I have had a total of 4 experiences with "Hauntings" before. Once when i was a little kid, and 3 times during a Ghost Hunting session 2 years ago. My first experience, happened when i was 8 years old. My great grandfather was a WWII veteran, and served in Europe against Nazi Germany - he was Airbourn Infantry. He passed away a year after i was born, so i never got to meet him - to my memory. I remember seeing pictures of him alive, and pictures taken of him whilst in his Casket during his Funeral. He was buried in his Airbourne Retirement uniform - and this experience happened after getting home from School. I entered my house and went to my bedroom, and about 5-9 minutes after getting home, i looked through the hallway into my parents' bedroom, and i seen my GGF standing there looking at the wall. He appeared in his Retirement uniform. I looked at him for about 16 seconds, and there was no emotion coming from him. I looked away for 2 seconds to put something i had in my hand down, looked back, and he was gone. It freaked me out, but at the same time i felt a loving presence during the Experience.

My other Experiences happened in One place 2 years ago. Near me there is a famous haunted bar called Bobby Mackey's Music World in Wilder,Ky. I went there after seeing the establishment featured on TV. I wont tell the full story, as its longer then my first story - But, all the experiences i had, where sort of Demonic in Nature. We heard growls, screams, yells, and i even seen on 2 occasions, full figures of 2 men near the establishments Staging area. I was touched numerous times, and one full apparent touch, was on my arm, as i felt large, sand-paper like hand, grab my arm for 1 second. Which i was no where near anyone else at the time, and was completely alone. If you would like to read more about this establishment, just click Here.

With that being said, i wanted to get other peoples takes on what they think about the Paranormal, hauntings, and Ghosts in General - and also hear, if possible, anyone else's experience's in it.

Being a Chaos-Gnostic Satanist - obviously the type of satanism i follow, doesn't pertain to any worshiping of an Supernatural Entity - and i know some Satanists are either Skeptical, or neutral to these sort of things.

I was at this show with several other Satanists.. some of who I do not even know. I will tell you this. When 2000 people chant the infernal names and sing ' hail Satan' there is power. This is nothing short of a mass ritual. Whoever nameless ghoul is behind this is well aware of certain principles of greater and lesser magic that only someone who has studied occultism, both greater and lesser magic could know. I know they are theatrical. Even a little campy. And I know this is all subjective. And so is most things that can not be measured and only felt.

I have come to learn some things in my 25 years of studying the occult. There are certain principles only those who have studied the same would know. And, Ghost are using them...consistently. Make way people. I am not talking illuminati bullshit. This is actual Satanists manifesting on a large scale. Their motive other than ego is the diabolical infestation. Pushing our principles into the psyche of the masses.

Our time has come.

We have a radio show. Next episode will be at 11/09/15 8pm PST. It is live. you can call in. This show will be about depression and addiction from a Satanist perspective. Zach Black will be hosting. Co-hosting is Joseph Joseph L Hall who works in the mental health field. You can also download this show and previous ones on the channel Satanic International radio on blog talk radio. https://www.blogtalkradio.com/satanic-radio

Here is the next up and coming show... https://www.blogtalkradio.com/...ction-and-depression

I see the Dreaded one is back. Nice to see you again. This place needs some kick in the balls. I am tired of tripping through the daisies here. Kicks up my flower allergies. 

Hopefully all parties that post will sharpen their weapons on the cyber egos of the other. Would be nice if this is not a simple 80's pop one hit wonder and is lasting like fucking Keith Richards. 

My UFO closet is filled with anal probes and alien stuff. Tired of carrying tampons and tissues as I have not the room. 

Lets but the ' S ' back in S.I.N. and Satanism. A wise man once said ' Satan is the adversary , ism  is the action .  Lets let the master do his work.. 

In a rough translation in Latin the new Papa Zero says ' My name is Papa Zero, the time for partying is over, now we resort back to the old ways " . 

In 2016 I was a presenter and gave a ...presentation ....about modern Satanism. This coming year I have been invited to do the same. I guess I will come up with some new material or maybe jack Dreads ADM. Not sure. Joking Dread...maybe you should come and speak it. 

Here is my presentation last year. I was hoping they would put the LHP consortium somewhere cool that people might actually want to go. Say ...  Las Vegas, LA or NYC. Not my money though I am just a guest. 

If any of you are serious about attending hit me up in private. We might be able to pull a discount SIN thing. If it is anything like last year it was fun. A 3 day weekend of partying and rubbing elbows with occultniks. 

Eldritch, gonzo, science-fantasy, post-apocalypse!

If you're into roleplaying games like D&D, then it's a must-have.  What else are you going to waste your Christmas money on, right?  Keep RPGs Satanic!

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/vengersatanis/chaalt-fuchsia-malaise

Check out Cha'alt: Fuchsia Malaise, and back it if you know what's good for you!  I'll scribble some Satanic shit on the inside cover (next to my signature and the numbered limited edition - if we reach that stretch goal).

Thanks,

Venger As'Nas Satanis

Ipsissimus of the Cthulhu Cult

**************************************

Idea Introduction

Of all the quirky things my favorite Triskadekaphobic Maine writer has giving us, like my hero Randall Flagg or Pet Cemetery, his most insightful work may be The Shining. Of course, I will have to slightly warp its literary/cinematic intent. 

In the novel/movie the ghosts of The Overlook Hotel were portrayed in the "still haunting" light of spirits stuck in the movie rule location "get out of here" trope. Entities carrying on to torture or turn into a decaying old lady.  Overlooked by most were the ancillary parts of the story that cast it into an even more intriguing insight into the nature of the paranormal.

Start off with Tony who lives in young Danny's mouth.  An artifact of his mind portrayed as an imaginary friend. If it happened to a person 30 years older he'd call himself a medium that talks to the dead. 

The cook talked to his own Mom, and later Danny right before he died like all black characters in a mostly white cast are meant to.   Up until that point he was the back story for the elusive "third eye" nature to the underlying motif. 

Enter the hotel itself. All the stories told, all the events that took place, all that shined was of key moments and people specific to that location.   The theory being the "shine"  may as well be like a civil war battlefield littered with oratory history making its way firmly into the collective unconscious.  The interesting thing about this archetypal and story filled land is the existence of "genetic memory". 

Enter "the shining". Consider it like unconscious synesthesia. The ability to presence the events and people that make up the history of the location itself.

Idea Breakdown:

Genetic memory:  

"It is based on the idea that common experiences of a species become incorporated into its genetic code..."  -wikipedia

Please submit the above to include things like metaphysical belief also being encoded into genetics by the shared experience of "superstition".  That twitch as old as our species that ensured several sacrifices to make the sun rise. Doesn't matter the superstition, the genetic is the predisposition of.  Like Alcohol to Irish it is.  For them that shared experience of drinking a shitload became genetic memory.

Collective Unconscious: 

Every culture, every story, every commonly held belief, major event, folk hero and so on lives here. Villains as well. Demons and ghosts, all combine fears of humanity call this realm home.

A layman example may well as be the internet. Consider the surface web the collective. The top results are your massacres and your presidents. There is an order of magnitude to what is most present. 

Current Output:

This one may seem strange, but apart from the collective world there is a current transmission/reception thing happening.  This is where you have to insert some metaphysical bullshit about clairvoyance and genuine psychic ability.  In this regard the "current output" refers to all real-time experiences.

The current output can also be called the phenomenal experience. This occurs in the same space/time everything else occurs and is governed by the laws of physics. "Signals" travel at the speed of light.

There is an ability of the mind to lock in on "signals" that occur in a hertz range which happens to coincide with our own neural range, between 10 and 50 hertz. 

Along with our atmosphere, there is a magnetosphere, and an ionosphere. A firmly electromagnetic world we live on. A nice conduit for signal transmission.

A declassified experiment carried out by the CIA in the 1960's dealt with a "broadwave trigger" in which a broadcast frequency (between 12 and 25 hertz) could induce a wide range of emotions over a targeted area. Mind control broadcast from a satellite.

At all moments ions are flying around and into you. A test of the effect of the atmosphere itself is noticed on days when ions are most excited, windy days.  Positive ionization will cause much higher levels of agitation, where as negative ionization calms a person. While not entirely related, like the first example, it establishes our mind's connection to environmental influences.  

The Shine: 

Synesthesia is an ability for people to see numbers as colors or words as shapes and do some pretty amazing beyond Rainman things just by viewing the internal landscape of there ability.  Incredible memory and high IQ is also present with synesthetes.  I consider this "shine" and all associated psychic ability, like a synesthesia that deals with collective unconscious and the phenomenal. An ability to  "see the events of past" alongside the live feed.  A tarot card reading without the deck in a greater process where you learn to filter through the noise of all you "pick up".

The locations themselves will keep the aura so long as the stories are told. So long as the isolated and gifted continue to speak of Old Caretaker Delbert Grady and the "correction" of his family with an Axe they will exist.  As seen with Jack you sometimes only halfway pick it up, and are lead by internal conflict and will (portrayed as bartender apparitions).

The Short Movie: 

All that's gleaned is like a schizophrenic hallucination. Something every bit real seen by one and not the other. And not schizophrenia. Similar in that your mind creates it but dissimilar in how it occurs.

For a schizophrenic it's so ludicrously put together that it builds upon a previously held delusion, where these occur like random flashes of headline news.  The experience can range anywhere from full apparition down to not necessarily seen, but discernable enough to be as vivid as memory. 

A person may suddenly see a person falling from a bridge after being thrown off it for two blinks of an eye only for it to flash away as quickly as it came.  A brief instant where you see the collective memory of a location. 

Projection 

Seems absurd I almost left this out. The main defect and encumbrance is our own subjective lensing. Input filtered through superstition of your genetic memory can make one person's "black cook" another's "Gabriel The Super-Angel".  This is another way of saying it may also be more representive of "a lie you tell yourself" and further tainted by hopes and fears.  

An example may be in Michael Crichton's book turned motion picture, "Sphere", in which Samuel L Jackson manifested sinister Jellyfish based on his fear of the species. 

The Supernatural Retort: 

What about the more Poltergeist-like happenings?

For legitimate cases, notice how things move. They are quick burst of energy that may all of sudden rustle the blinds or knock a cup over, and all manner of kinetic shenanigans. 

This seems in line with the telekinetic ability observed by everyone who has seen it done. Short bursts. And you do not have to believe me. 

Artifacts and constructs of thought.

There is a progression. Every story is akin to, "at first it was just a little bit and then we started to become aware of it and it escalated".

They might become so concerned why that cupboard is always open that they film their kitchen and call the inexplicable opening evidence of ghosts.  No drafts or other reason they say. 

It's actually evidence of cupboard seemingly opened without a cause and nothing more.  This actually opens the door for "magic" to become plausible, if you want to take credit for the door opening.  You are then taken east to learn of Tibetan Tulpa concepts where you may learn you are the poltergeist. 

The Implications of Whatever This Theory Is: 

There is no spirit world, afterlife, or ghosts, but we do have the ability to do the Jedi mind tricks and magic may be validated to a glitchy "burst of energy" extent. 

******************************************

Every time I can feel the fervor of mindless group think creep into my mind all I have to do is think "what would Satan do" and all peace is restored. Of course  I am not talking about the actual Satan just the thought if all things attached to the mask of Satan. Heading down the Left Hand Path has helped me save myself. I was headed down the dreadful path of sheep mindlessness. Satanism is the cure to the madness of group think. 

Sucks that I can't outwardly express my opinions.

Sure, I have that ability and no one is stopping me but myself but, the fact of the matter is, I have opinions that aren't exactly what people want to hear. Not things the masses would agree with. Especially since tolerance and acceptance seem to be trending lately.

What's ironic is that people that fought for the right to have a voice, an opinion, a choice.., they'll be the first ones to tell me to shut the fuck up. It almost seems as though the people that were once considered the 'mass' are now the 'minority' and those who were the minority, despite knowing what it's like not having a voice, get a kick out of disregarding the opinions of others and shutting them down.

Is that what politics have turned into? One fucking childish game of "I can't hear you, I can't hear you! La la la la la la!"?

Video number one.

https://youtu.be/miv4aRworqo

        This video makes the correlation between the Christian or Abrahamic mind set and the extreme liberals. I agree I personally  believe it's the same thing in a different package, resulting in that same effect, the restriction of freedom.  I do not think these things are inherently "good" for humanity. The argument on the surface would be, we could not restrict there freedoms to partake in these ideologies because we only have as much freedom as our enemy (so they say). The dilemma is, these ideologies effect the freedoms of everyone else in the community. It's hard to see the right answer.

Video number two.
https://youtu.be/7HLtjlvfA7c

        I agree with this video nearly its entirety. Although I respect Satanism and hold it close to my heart, I feel sure it's the pagan sole reemerging in modernity without the lingual and ethnic attachment because of tribal blending. I personally  believe Satanism is for the left brain and the tribal sole or ethnikos is for the right brain the unseen part of the sole. We could say that Anton could have agree with this summation, he did say that the acting of ritual was good for people even if it was just a phyco drama.  I think thast why I love the depictions of the Baphomet, perfectly balancing the logic of scientific thought and the esoterica/ creative sole.

Satanists meetups in San Diego , CA

I am hosting meetups in San Diego, CA every other Monday at cigar cave on 5th Ave in Hillcrest. June 24th ( today ) is a meetup so every other Monday from here on out until something changes. We meetup about 7pm and meetings last until we get bored usually around 9pm. This is a chapter meeting for Satanic International San Diego chapter. You need not be a member to attend the only requirement is that you are not a asshole.

Topics range from occultism, Satanism, politics, current events, side projects ect. It really just depends on who is there and what is happening. There are about 35 chapters world wide. Most in the USA. San Diego chapter has about a dozen people so far.

Cigar cave is a lounge with free pool. poker table and chess. It is a classier bar/lounge. Beer and wine mainly and you can smoke inside. Outside patio with fire pit for those that do not smoke. It is a causal lounge with cool art, black walls and leather black sofas.

Should you wish to attend I recommend contacting me first ( optional ) . I might even let you buy me a beer. :)

Poetic Poetry and Possibly Pottery 

I hate poetry

it's fucking lame
haiku and simile 

one in the same
Quatrains and couplets
for liberal art fuckwits
Devices and meters
For cure fans and teachers
Yet
Some words are better
To wrap up together
It may take precision
To expand repetition
Rhythm intertwines
By syllable and line
Now butcher the verse
reword or reverse 
correct and reherse
a new butchered verse 

by syllable and line 
of rhythm intertwined
Expanded repetition
of careful precision
to wrap up together
the words that are better
Now
The cure fans and teachers
Their devices and meters
Are liberal art fuckwits
with Quatrains and couplets 

Haiku or simile 

All fucking lame 
I still hate poetry 

All the same.

And nothing about pottery.

Spoons are made to be bent.

The term Supernautical means "above the tides". This means "above natural cycles in nature". You as god.  

Consider all lives have ups and downs, being supernautical is like being a hurricane, typhoon, or cyclone. You increase the amplitude of their waves until their life fucking crashes against a rock.  You become the other guy that controls the sea and stir up their ocean... with the magical belief you can. 

Anyway, enough lead in.

For a "Destruction ritual" I use the following items.

2 teaspoons snakeroot
1/4 cup of Pecans
1 Heirloom Egg
1 Candle of Elegba (OG Orisha)
1 cup Cemetery soil
1 piece of 8"/11" paper
1 Jar of blood bait (for catfish) 

1 wishbone from a chicken
1 fur from a black cat
1 mason jar

 1. On the piece of paper draw a simple picture of your choosing and the identity of your destructee in the blood bait. 

2.  In the Mason jar add Heirloom egg, pecans, snakeroot, 1/4 cup blood bait, and soil. Stir until mixed thoroughly.  Place jar behind the sigil.

3. Snap the wishbone while saying your intent and then add to the jar.

4. Say, By a luck de a black cat, may oi niis adagita pass,  Add the fur. 

5. Burn the sigil and add the ashes to the jar.  Replace the lid.

6. Between midnight and first light find a place where two roads cross and bury the jar in the middle.

7. At a southern corner place the Elegba candle and light it. Consider a wind break if in a wind prone area.

Say another intent clearly such as:

Lap disciplining me at conisbra Ol condemn zomdv children adagita die. Elasa biab ge en ethical superior.

At this point you MUST walk away and never return ever. Assume the candle burnt through. 

Later, take credit for one of the kids getting hit by a truck while biking somewhere.

School 1: Retributive 

This one garners criticism for being a "dead end" while misunderstanding the method of attainment.  The bias shows when it's assumed this retributive nature is meant to lead to a symbolic mountain top of total self control and refinement. Or anywhere in particular at all. THERE ISN'T A FUCKING MOUNTAIN TOP! Not really trying to see the view because that is not really the point of the endless trek. Of fucking course it is a path of pain.  The liberation is an almost twisted cutter reflex where getting whipped like a disobedient dog IS the attainment you seek. Liberation through suffering,  in present time without regard to the attainment of orthodox serenity.  The road just keeps going in perpetuity, without need for any type of exoteric salvation. What triggers a response in this school is an asset because rational self interest is an invalid option, as it will likely be a concession. 

The misconception is you fight everything rather than picking your battles. It takes an attack on a personal standard in a way that treads on compulsory. (See Gadsen Flag). 

Example:

For all I shit talk her, my mother was awesome in her own regard.  In retrospect she would do things that I never paid attention to. 

My mother always said as a matter of principle if The Supreme Court ever overturned Roe V. Wade she would spend her life savings being the underground railroad of Canadian abortions.  It doesn't really consider anything other than retribution on whatever mandate taps your fight mechanism. 

You can hug the scorpion infested thorn covered mesquite tree for comfort on the endless path.

School 2: Passive

This treads closer to scientology than retributive satanism.  Essentially these things that trigger become like body thetans. Along with these urges to fight are the traumas that caused them. You must understand your satanic engrams and master your own mind. Overcome the traumas and CLEAR yourself of the tendencies that make you fight to begin with. Understand them and if they are self destructive try to overcome them! You can do it!

For what it is worth Hubbard COMPLETELY ripped this off.  And this concept is very Jungian in nature. Traumas in the shadow etc. Nothing new except hokie scifi.

Someone else with this view is Dr. Phil McGraw.  In one of his books he touches on many things that contribute to similar "personality defects", as that is how they are considered. Like traumatic events and key decisions or people that molded behavior and wrote your story. And of course, direct engagement with the trauma to rid its impact. Overcome it.  Like scientology, it is psychology without the medication.  Except with Dr. Phil.

Personal understanding and enlightenment await.  Passive resistance instead of war. 

This is great for those that are more wired towards reward or beneficial situations. It trangresses via "tuning it out" or "not sinking to their level". "Rising above it" to diffuse the opposition. 

These are the only two valid ones.  They differ on key elements oh so similar to others that have split before. The former can only lead to anything resembling the latter by proxy. Calluses grown from overuse. A strength gained but not the initial goal.

In a bullet point: The schools of Satanism are like C.G. Jung vs. Santino Corleone. Sometimes you get shot 47 times.

* better bullet point 

**  In the name of integrity, a guy that films his bathroom argued this as "The Adversary vs. The Buddha" many incarnations ago. Satanism existing on a spectrum of polar approaches. 

I'm not gunna get all emo or post pictures of pepe the frog hanging himself on /b/ and talk about how much my life sucks. Somehow, I still have some dignity left. I grew up watching my friends get tricked into living the way the establishment wants. If I thought that was scary I was terrified when I saw all others who rebelled get mentally and physically broken down to nothing. Did I really survive the dismal results of pushing away from the norm? I wonder sometimes. All I know is it's worth it. This is how I view the world, and some friendly advice for those who look through the glass of life and see the same things I do.

I feel like I know too much. The simple pleasures still enjoyed by people are lost to me. I don't have a family. I have few friends I've known for more than a year. I know all these things are essentially worthless. If somebody became a burden, I dropped them. If somebody became a liability, I stopped talking to them or associating. I also never explained myself when I did. I just knew they were hurting me and looked out for number 1. But more importantly, I realized most people don't live in reality.

If some idiot wants to make comments about how reality is subjective, you can fuck right off. Reality is, and has always been objective. If you think it isn't you've been eating too much acid.

I know what is true and what isn't, and it took me a very long time to get a clear picture. The schools, the church, and the establishment have hard protocols in place to control people. How else do you convince a grown man to legally bind himself to a woman, work the same job for 40 years and raise ungrateful children that leave him in a nursing home forgotten and dying? How else do you get desperately sick people to send money to a church so they will "pray for them". It takes a hard yolk to control the mind of man. 

The establishment says, "Don't do drugs, you can't handle it". They don't exactly want people smoking a joint and realizing getting on disability is better than working. Drugs and drinking often puts a chink in the false reality they present, either harmful or helpful. It's my theory they invented the idea of addiction to make sure nobody used drugs or drank with a bit of discipline. Of course if you do drugs sparingly, the stupid plebs will brand you a coward. If you live for the real truth, the real reality, you will always be attacked on both sides. You will find yourself constantly alone.

Now this next bit might piss some of you off. They also invented the modern family. If you have kids, thats great. The sort of minds on this board need to breed, and I'm sure your children are a wonderful part of your life. But doesn't it piss you off when the church sticks their claws into their brain? Don't you fucking hate it when your job runs your life because although you can go without and wouldn't mind, your kids can't? You don't deserve that. It is another technique to control you, and make you a cog in a machine instead of a person. Personal independence and freedom is truly dead save for a few pockets.

I know mostly everything on the news and assbook is fake propaganda. I know god doesn't exist. I know that social structure isn't really needed and is also a form of control. I will never graduate because I'm already making good money even though I dropped out in 9nth grade. I will never have a wedding because I don't want to lose my mind after I catch chad fucking my wife, or lose my freedom to some girl's offspring who are going to talk shit about me after I'm dead anyway. You're not getting me with any of it. The question is, what do I get out saying "fuck that" to everything society expects from me as a man?

To be honest not a whole lot. I have a relatively stress free life, but a lonely one. It would be nice to have some more friends who don't mind if I get too drunk and talk about bob lazar or operation blue beam, or about how I love Michael Aquino's work but sort of disagreed with the pheonix program. I've had to be happy with what I have. In conclusion I would like to present a small guide to staying together if you made it this far.

>You are going to watch your freinds crash and burn. This lifestyle is crazy, and can be mentally unhealthy if the combination isn't just right. I recently had to stop talking to a childhood sweetheart I linked up with again, she was banging meth and had essentially lost her mind. There was nothing I could do. Every single one hurts, but remember, they aren't the person they were before. And they would want you to live well for them. Stay strong so at least one of the gang makes it long enough to pass on what we have.

>You're going to be lonely, and that's ok. The establishment and shrinks will tell you that you need the group to survive. You don't. You don't even need other people to be happy. You can do it all by yourself "in your mom's basement" if you want. The only reason you think you need other people is because the herd mistakenly believes working together to build a huge eyesore like a mall is an achievement. If you can bring in an extra pair of hands to help, go for it. But you need to be concerned for you.

>Don't trust anyone. Nobody is beyond treachery, don't make yourself available to be hurt, or scammed. If 3 people already know, it isn't a secret anymore. Even your family will betray you if they get paid well enough. Even your wife will poison you for life insurance and run away with chad. 

Remember, don't try to control what you can't understand, just remember to always control your own feelings. There's nothing wrong with you. The left hand path is not for everyone, you're brave. Religion is convenient. Pleb politics makes it easy to pat yourself on the back. You chose reality. You chose to make your own beliefs, and your own goals. You chose yourself, and not the herd. Just remember to stay strong, the truth hurts.....
But it's well worth it.

"Naw, say that shit right. Like you my transnubian nigga." 

"Let's crack it" 

The foundation of my belief in Satanism come from the teaching of Anton Lavey. I have used the Satanic Bible as a road map along my spiritual journey. I had a mentor whom taught me a lot, but also taught me the communication with the gods is extremely important. The spirits have given me much knowledge in performing my own rituals and I do get results. I saw my first spirit when I was 8 years old and I could never get the interest of the occult out of my mind. As Lavey stated, “I better get on the side of these guys instead of protecting myself against them.”

only thing I have in common with bible thumpers is that I 100 percent agree that these films are heinous.(but for very different reasons.)  Take beauty and the beast for example.  The beast supposedly portrays the anti-christ. Xians take a literal approach. The world's most well known antagonist is called the "beast" in the final chapter of the world's most notorious book of hatred.  

walt disney likely meant no correlation between his film and the "good book." I do wonder sometimes if Disney himself was affiliated with something real and truly nefarious.  

Beauty kinda symbolizes the following of Christ.  When the alleged apocalypse happens (hypothetically speaking of course,) the epic conflict between team jesus and team lucifer will occur. Of course in both the bible and the film, beauty prevails. sigh I hate happy endings.. and I especially hate it when they burst into sappy disney style tunes or boring hymns. 

so anyone here team jesus? team lucifer? mostly don't give a fuck.. but interesting allegory

The virus.  The bug in the system.  What corrupts and is Gray.  Not black or white.  Absence and yet beyond absence.  What makes everything into it.  Fuck Qliphoth, it is the true husk.  Eggshell wanting to swallow everything in it's prison.  Where the Void of the lowest pits of the wailing damned far below the lap of Satan where demons drink to forget it, where that Void ends, where Darkness and Light have no domain, the the Thing hungers yet does not eat.  Dust.  Beyond something and nothing.  What sickens.  The Evil Inclination and yet the very basis for what all existence is destined to fight.  I can't name it, nothing can name it, demons and eldritch horrors and Choronzon all have their place.

The Thing has no place.  It consumes and yet does not destroy.  It creates yet it creates nothing.  It is the very birth of paradox and madness and to touch it is to become a howling void.  The Thing is outside All, and yet wants to Be All.  And defeating it will cost everything I fucking love.

I was 12 when I first saw it.  Lost in Heaven as my soul fled my fucking child body and I witnessed the slaughter of archangels in spilled guts and hacked off heads by these puppets of the Thing.  Beyond dark matter and Kelvin Zero.  Just... a Thing.  A cancer and yet not of anything fleshy or natural or supernatural or bodily.  And despite Michael's legions, despite these angels of immense power with flaming swords and wings of adamant, the Thing was winning.  I was pulled down to the battlefield and screamed and no one could see or hear me.  I wove between angels and the Thing's puppets and knew if It touched me, I would be beyond oblivion, beyond death, beyond any hope of Allie or any love or hate or just, really, anything.  I would become It.  

Somehow Michael fucking found me and pulled me with the gravity of God to a bloody clearing where he was shouting orders with flaming sword in hand, terrified, his red hair matted with ichor.  Michael saved my life and all lives to come and everything that I was, as Michael is the only one that can see the Spy of God, and he shouted "Zophael!" in my small four foot whatever body and shoved me like lightning down my spine to my stomach and his look was utter terror and fury at me daring venture close to it.  I jolted back alive in a daze and knew the source of all my nightmares was very real.  The Thing yawned in my small fragile soul and I grasped something of annhilation.  Spies are only as good as the intelligence they gather, and I am the Herald of Hell, and I have been fucking trying to figure out the Thing for all my life, yet it's like being in the Mariana Trench with a matchstick.  If Michael and Samael fight it, what fucking chance does a kid stand?  Watchwomen are good at crying for help, not much else, and I had never screamed as much as I did that night.  That night I almost was erased.

I saw it again when I was 18.  Gray.  Nuclear winter.  Conformity.  No love or hate or anything unholy or holy.  It fed.  It nursed.  It consumed.  It injected.  The gods and demons and angels manifested to fight it, and people gave their lives over to the spirits as vessels, and I carved two bloody taws into my palms and Samael possessed me for the first time, and my eyes grew red as blood, and I wielded the scythe, and I went to face it while Satan piloted my fucking tissue paper body.  Samael spoke through me and gave commands, fighting at Michael and Odin and Athena and Ra's side - every fucking thing was there fucking fighting the Thing.  And it was a fucking massacre.  I remember seeing just this cancer on everything, the bug, the virus, the Thing, feeding.  Gray.  Winter yet not a time for rest.  Sleep yet not of dreams.  What Hell guards us from but could contain no more.  What Samael is a scapegoat for.  What the whole reason Fenrir and Set and Satan were invented as cardboard villains to project all the lies we have about the Thing to help us sleep at night.

I now give my body over willingly.  That's the whole point.  I can't keep fucking running from my rood, destruction, and husk.  It is in my heart because I am trying to understand It.  I remember locking myself in the Pit with it just to wipe the blood from Satan's brow for eternity as he held it back.  I don't know why he doesn't just give in.  When your soul is in constant battle, when your very being is zuhama, how do you live knowing if you make one fucking mistake the Thing will make you its chewtoy.  Demons are the fucking watchdogs, angels are the second defense, and Hell was invented as a barrier to contain the Thing, to make one last fuck you stand to the Gray.

At twelve, I found it face to face.  At my birth, I felt it.  It haunts and is the reason I am terrified of the dark.  Broken records.  Skips in the matrix.  It's all about programming, at the end of the day.  Do we get a choice in this, or are we already damned.  Apep.  

Snakes are slippery things.

You may have noticed that a lot of people are getting pierced and tattooed these days. I call these art, a point that I'm not really going to argue about at the moment. All cultures, of course, practice body adornment of various kinds, from cicatrization to high fashion, and many cultures practice extreme or painful forms of body transformation. Call these art or not, but I suspect we could agree that they are aesthetic activities in some broad sense. Like dance, they have the human body as their medium. What I want to do here is speculate on some of the reasons why such transformations of the body are practiced in Western culture and what they mean.

To paint on the body with needles, or to make holes in it and push jewelry through those holes, is to try to transform the body into an artifact. Or, to give an alternative formulation, to do these things is to emphasize the fact that the body is an artifact. I give these two formulations to satisfy both sides of a familiar debate about whether there is any decent distinction between culture and nature. Many folks argue, for example, that the gendering of bodies is a cultural or discursive formation rather than a natural biological fact. But whether the human body is always already a cultural artifact or not, to pierce and tattoo the body is to try to take some control over it as an artifact. Many things about us can be changed by efforts of will: we can learn new skills, buy new clothes, perfume ourselves, get a haircut. But tattooing and piercing can be distinguished from these in that they introduce more enduring transformations to our bodies and in that undergoing these transformations is painful . Tattooing, in particular, is relatively permanent, though less so in the face of new laser technologies, and in this it resembles such practices as footbinding, skull shaping, and the elongation of lips and earlobes.

We could think of these activities as attempts to reduce the recalcitrance of ourselves to our own wills. For whatever your position on the artifactuality of your body may be, you have noticed that your body responds only in very limited ways to your desires. You are not going to be able to stay awake forever, for example, or jump over the moon. In fact you are not going to be able to desire what you think you ought to desire: like all of us you are at times anyway the victim of your own desires. That is, you are recalcitrant to the operations of your own will. We maybe have this kind of commonsense notion that we are our own masters (and hence our own slaves) that we can want what we want to want and maybe achieve it. But this is really crazy. You cannot want what you think you ought to want; you cannot even want what you want to want; from which it follows that you cannot decide what to want. Are you with me on this? It is not too much to say that we are the victims of our own desire, and actually I think that is a very good thing. For one thing, it means you can get swept away into desire, that you can have the very human experience of being seduced or swept away in virtue of your own desires. It is almost as though you could ravish yourself. Creatures who were the arbiters of their own desires (and I think, again, that that notion is literally nonsensical; certainly it would entail a bizarrely fragmented account of the self; not that our selves are not bizarrely fragmented, but they can't be fragmented in just this way); creatures who were the arbiters of their own desires would find themselves utterly boring, you see? Desire is what takes ahold of you from somewhere outside your will or it is not desire.

To get back on track, it is certainly right to say that none of us fully chose our own bodies, or fully chose to be who we are. In that sense we are our own victims or the victims of fate: for the most part we all have to play the hand we are dealt. But we also all engage in an attempt to expand the operations of our own wills in the arena of our selves, to get some kind of rudimentary command over something about ourselves. That we actually can get any command over our bodies is probably a pathetic delusion; nevertheless we're out here trying. Now I suggest that many of the things we do, and indeed many of the things we think of as pathological, are attempts of this sort to make ourselves the objects of our own will and hence to transform ourselves into things that are free. You see? We're trying to make ourselves free by treating our own bodies as material that is subject to the operation of our wills, trying to make ourselves free by enslaving ourselves, by taking command of ourselves. We're trying to carve out a zone of control in the absolutely uncontrollable crushing chaos of the universe, even if this zone extends no further than our own skins.

To this extent, it does not really matter what is tattooed on your body; what matters most is simply that your body is somehow marked. The tattoo is a sign of sign; that is, it inscribes the resolution to make your body a semiotic site. It is a kind of pure syntax: you might notice that for the most part, even in the case of good tattoo work, it is very difficult to tell what the tattoo is unless you are standing very close, in good light, with some time to inspect. Mostly what you notice is just the sheer fact that someone is tattooed. This used to mean something fairly specific: bad boy. It identified you by class, gender, and by propensity; you were maybe a biker type, anyway probably a substance abuser and a "rebel": kind of out of control: willing to do crazy shit. Now of course people of all classes and genders are getting tattooed and its significance has shifted: it still means something, but not as much. What it expresses these days is fairly amorphous: again the sheer will to mark your body, to turn it into a text or an image, or to incorporate the text or image on your body. This has also, and appropriately, corresponded to an increase in "abstract" or "tribal" style tattooing, where obviously what the sign or image is a sign or image of is not the point: it's just that you want a cool design which displays your body as marked. Here tattooing becomes a pure syntax, a system of signs without signifieds. In this it resembles most of our talk and most of our writing and most of our singing and most of our painting and so on: the point is not ultimately "what you are saying" but just to keep yapping, keep communicating, keep making some kind of quasi-organized noise. Your body is intentionally marked, which signals a kind of power over the self; the content, if any, of such marks, are secondary.

Again, I suggest that a lot of what people do, and a lot of what we think of as contemporary body pathologies, can be understood from this angle. For example, there is a certain story about what anorexia is supposed to be; it's supposed to be a response to magazine spreads of skinny models, an attempt by young women to bring their bodies into conformity with what they see as a cultural norm of beauty. Maybe it is sometimes this, to some significant measure of frequency. But it is also sometimes this: an attempt to gain control of one's own body or even to transcend one's embodiment altogether: it is an attempt to become a free spirit, to seize control of oneself and hence also the attempt to enslave oneself. Anorexia may be about beauty, but it is above all about power. As we know, food can be a vector of power between parents and children: children can be punished by having food withheld or by being forced to eat. This form of power may be experienced as particularly violating because it reaches inside the body of the person over whom it is exercised. Thus, refusing to eat, or taking control over one's intake of food, can be a resistance to domination and an expression of self-control. And it is an assertion of power over one's own body through an assertion of power over its desires: its hungers. It is an attempt to make oneself autonomous or to refuse to be penetrated; one disavows one's dependence on a world of things. And it is, as well and relatedly, a kind of ascetic spiritual expression of self-overcoming.

That is, the power one asserts in resistance to the blandishments to eat is also and primordially a power of the self and its appetites; for though we cannot control what we desire, it seems, at any rate, as though we can sometimes control whether we act on those desires. And any assertion of power over other people, even the power to resist or rebel against their power, can only be legitimized by one's power over oneself; the threat of violence is always an expression of one's own courage, for example. The basic site of power is within the self; the basic dramas of power are enacted within the self or transacted between the "parts" of the self. To assert the will's power to resist one's own desire is to assert one's "self-command" or "self-control" and hence signals, for let us say an adolescent girl, that one has achieved the forms of self-division and the internal arrangements of power among the portions of a divided self that we associate with adulthood or maturity. The child starts out as "the slave of his own desires": that is every desire is immediate, whole, and cannot be resisted. We mature, at least in this culture, by instigating, or receiving from others, various fragmentations of the self that make the self a transaction of power.

Here is another example: substance abuse. One thing that sometimes motivates the use of drugs is an extreme desire for self-control. It is sometimes said by folks who don't know any better that addicts lack will power. But it takes a hell of a lot of will power to keep swilling cheap vodka until you pass out: you must have a very firm resolve and not listen to what your body is telling you. Being an alcoholic requires iron self-discipline. Addiction is an attempt to control how you feel. A typical addict wants to wake up instantly with cocaine or caffeine, wants to feel ecstasy on demand, wants to go to sleep by knocking himself unconscious: he wants perfect control over his brain chemistry. The things he puts into his body are toxic: he is damaging his body, but he is seeking a transcendence of the mundane limits of his biology: he is seeking to make himself safe and independent of the world by perfect control and transformation of his body. Do you see? He has turned against his own body or pitted one desire against another until the inner conflict begins to rip him apart or collapse him into permanent coma.

Or think about body-building. I am attempting through exercise to transform my own body; I make my body the object of my own will in an enduring way. I am refusing to agree to the body I have and, as it were, growing a new body according to my own specifications. And of course the body I am making is a powerful body, a body armored in muscle, a body that does not need and which cannot be penetrated. I am making my body into my own artifact by a discipline or a craft, and the fact that I am disciplined is signified by the look of my body, which says: this has taken years of hard exercise to achieve. My body is hence a sign of power, of my power over myself, my self-possession, self-domination. It is relevant here as well that I am also trying to heighten the sexual desirability of my body, just as perhaps the anorexic is trying to heighten the sexual desirability of his or her body. But of course, that, too, is a kind of power: to be desired is in some ways to master the one who desires. Very simply: if you want me, I can manipulate you; I can make you pay; I can make you flatter; I can make you perform. One comes to control, through anorexia or body-building, at least in one's own imagination, not only one's response to one's own desires, but the desires of other people.

It is relevant in all these cases, as in other cases of physical self-transformation (such as plastic surgery) that the process hurts. That you have mastered yourself can only be demonstrated by the fact that you can inflict pain on yourself and tolerate or come to desire that very pain. The pain is the sign and the measure of your self-enslavement, that is, of your self-command. That you have the will to transform or transfigure yourself is shown by your willingness to do what you don't want to do; that you have mastered your body is demonstrated in your refusal to accede to its demands. Indeed, finally the desires themselves are transformed, so that one no longer hungers, so that one takes pleasure in the pain of exercise or the disability of intoxication: one wants, finally, what hurts, or finally becomes someone for whom pain and pleasure are not firmly distinguished or are inverted. That is the dirty secret of ascetics everywhere: they get off on it. And tattoos and piercings hurt too: not excruciatingly, but enough to signal power and transcendence. Because I believe that all these forms of self-command and self-enslavement through pain and mutilation are strategies for transcendence: think of the figure of Christ, who must be pierced and lacerated in his journey from sinful human body to godhead. Nailed and bound and displayed in his suffering, he arouses our desire.

If this is beginning to sound like sadomasochism, it should. A sadomasochistic couple is an ascetic machine, a system dedicated to transcendence. Foucault once said that "power comes from the bottom," a scary and profound statement. He had in mind power in big social systems, but he also had in mind bondage and discipline. When I tie you up and hurt you in small ways, I do so by your own consent: I do so because that is what you want, a fact about which I will take care to remind you. Your own desire is the instrument of your pain and humiliation. And you seek by this experience a transformation or transcendence of your desire, or a perfection of your desire, or an annihilation of your desire. Those are all the same thing; or they can all be achieved simultaneously: the perfect satisfaction of desire is precisely its annihilation: desire consumes itself in its own satisfaction: what one seeks through the intensification of desire is the transcendence of that very desire: its surcease in ecstasy. What I, the sadist, seek on the other hand, is an intensification of agency, a transposition into the realm of pure will; I seek annihilation of my objecthood as you seek annihilation into yours. I want to become pure action, agency; I want to disavow my passivity. All this requires pain, or at least it requires that pain be signified. I impose my will into the ecstacy of your torment, as you let your will go.

The point of this is that we together form a system for the transcendence of desire by the indefinite intensification of desire and the indefinite deferral of its satisfaction. Your will is annihilated precisely by the act of your own will: you will your own disappearance, like the anorexic: that is ecstasy. You are overcoming yourself. I am intensifying myself into a pure will, a pure power to command, a sheer imperative statement of what will satisfy my desire. But I am relinquishing my will in the very act by which I impose it: I am releasing myself from myself into your desire, annihilating myself into you. Together we are making pain; we are making pleasure; we are letting go of ourselves and seizing control of one another. We are playing with desire, playing with will, playing, in short, with power, and merging into a system that transcends itself.

Freedom or transcendence is the state in which your desires and your world match utterly, where everything is exactly as you desire it to be or where you desire everything to be as it is. That is: there is a sadistic transcendence wherein one is perfectly empowered and bends the world to one's will and one's will to one's desire. That is why absolute power corrupts, because power is not absolute until the flow from desire to reality is uninterrupted by will: absolute power is, hence, a complete annihilation of self-control, a sadistic transcendence. There is also masochistic transcendence in which one gives up one's will entirely not to one's own desire, but to the desire of another, to an external reality: here the channel is also worn smooth and there is no gap between will and desire, though it runs the other way and issues in the perfect transcendence of self-annihilation.

That there is a masochistic element in the self-mutilating adornment of the tattoo or the piercing is too well understood, I suppose: it is important that one experiences pain. But that there is a sadistic element is not well-understood, because it is not well-understood that sadism and masochism always appear as a system or machine. I am experiencing pain and I am taking a certain pleasure in that. But I am also inflicting pain on myself, willing to cause myself pain. I am a sadomasochistic system for self-overcoming. When I am pierced, I am figuratively damaged and penetrated: someone is sticking a stud through a hole in my body. But I am also doing this through my own agency: I am penetrating myself in an act of self-revelation and self-reflection. I have, in fact, been tattooed. Was that a sadistic act or a masochistic act? I think you can see that the question no longer makes any sense: either is always both. And I am claiming, like the addict, the right and the ability to be the maker of my own consciousness, to control my own body. My power over my own body is signaled in the self-infliction of pain. And through that pain, the body is adorned: I perform a small act of self-veneration; I celebrate my body and draw attention to the point at which by my own will and its integrity has been violated. The tattoo is simultaneously a site of degradation, decoration, and celebration. It damages and exalts the body at a perfectly particular point.

A tattoo is a complex signifier: it signals class; it signals sexuality; and it has specific content as a signifier: a depiction of an animal, a person, an abstract tribal design. The most usual motifs are signifiers of power and masculinity, especially totem animals such a birds and beasts of prey. But what the tattoo signals above all is the power one seizes over one's own body: it signals that one is the predator of oneself and hence also one's own prey. Again, the content of the tattoo is secondary to the general content of tattoos, as the point is just to be pierced in various conspicuous ways: it doesn't matter so much specifically whether it is your eyebrow or your tongue or both. The point is simply that one has seized control of oneself: a contradictory act that renders the body a contradictory location, because it is both sadistic and masochistic, both masterful and slavish, both self-division and, potentially, a site of self-reunification. To see this, simply note too that the extremely tattooed body also signals someone who is out of control, dangerously impulsive, compulsively kinky, and so on. By the very act through which one accomplishes control over one's own body, one may signal that this control is actually out of control, if you follow me. Again here, we see the parallel to addiction, where one controls one's conscious state to the point where one can no longer control one's control over one's conscious state.

The height of the sadomasochistic relationship is the permanent contract, specifying the forms of cooperative subordination. To understand what tattoos mean, it is absolutely crucial to keep in mind their permanence. A tattoo is a mark of resolution or bravery for that reason: one is not only transforming oneself, one is inscribing one's willingness to transform oneself once and for all, permanently. For that reason, tattoos are excellent markers of passage or initiation, and many fraternities, military units, athletic teams, motorcycle gangs, and so forth tattoo or scar their members in order to signal on their bodies the permanence and the seriousness of their commitment. To be branded or tattooed shows also that you have the requisite guts to join the group. It is not the most extreme or painful form of initiation, but it serves as a sign of pain and hence of resolution. You see, the seriousness of the anorexic's commitment to transform herself by the power of her own will is inscribed on her body: it is an enduring discipline that can be read on her body as pain. There is no sense in overcoming something painful: you have to overcome what is pleasurable, and you have to do it by inflicting pain. And to show this forth as a permanent transformation is to signal it as a discipline, an ongoing state of the self, an identity.

What I am trying to say is that these things respond to a fundamental human dilemma and dynamic. We are powerless over much of the world; we are powerless over ourselves, and it is the latter powerlessness which is most intimate, most acute, most important. Finally, what we seek by ascetic discipline, what we seek by mystical ecstasy, what we seek by self-starvation, what we seek by intoxication, what we seek by self-mutilation, what we seek by sadomasochism, is a letting-go into that powerlessness, a reconciliation with ourselves as objects, a destruction or releasement of subjectivity. The tattoo, finally, is an emphasizing of embodiment, a way of drawing attention to the body, including one's own attention; it is a monistic gesture, an attempt to reconcile oneself with one's embodiment. The sadistic moment is a dualistic moment, but the masochistic moment is a moment of release into objecthood. We take command of ourselves in order that we might be commanded, that we might feel even more acutely the power that hurts us, that mutilates us. This power is the world, a fearsome senseless world of sheer objects. And you will have guessed by now what I think we are in this world: also fearsome, senseless, also objects.

We intensify our power over this world and ourselves in a thousand ways and I have been talking only about the most personal of them. We seek to control the environment as a whole, seek its total technological transformation into an object of will. In bondage and discipline, the technology is very, very important: you want to have exactly the right restraints, exactly the right devices so that the transformations that you visit on the body of your lover or which are visited on your body by your lover, are exactly as you will them to be. And we are in a sadistic relationship to our world as a whole. Every attempt to transform our environment shows exactly this dynamic. Art, at its most intense as absolute mastery of the medium, is a most effective expression of this impulse.

But finally what we seek is the moment at which will and world become identical; in which our expression assumes the perfect form by an effort so intense that it appears only as a perfect letting-go. Our self-expression, in its ecstasy, is a self-annihilation: we have expanded into everything and disappeared. There are two ways to find this place: first, by simply falling away into immersion, by refusing to be, by self-annihilation: the fantasy of the masochist. Second: by total control and total transformation, by acts of self-discipline and world-discipline by which the world and the will are made to merge: the fantasy of the sadist. What I'm saying is: these are the same thing, finally. What I am saying is: we are all engaged somewhere in this dynamic, in an accumulation or a letting-go of power and desire that is a self-control and an ecstatic release.

Sometimes it feels lonely being the ONLY member in my family, that has an interest in Occult related subject matters/topics (even though I'm not that much of a "people person").

Today, my auntie told me a diabolical story she read in some shitty tabloid newspaper. It’s a true story, she said, and of course, I believe her. I don’t remember the title but the story illustrates in the best way the sinister spirit. So here it is:

There was once a man, called Johnny, who spent many years in prison for killing his wife. Not that he didn’t love her. In fact, he loved her so much that he got terribly jealous. One day, thinking she betrayed him with another man, in the surge of emotions, he smashed her head with a hammer. When he realized the horror of his deed, he wept and moaned but it was to late. His wife was dead and he found himself behind the bars. In prison he was so kind and humble that he was released earlier for good behavior.

When he came back home, he became a nature lover. He fed hungry birds in winter and started keeping hens. He also cared for stray dogs. But he had one favorite pet he loved fiercely; a little, nearly miniature cock, he called “Lilipucik”, which is a Polish diminutive name for a midget.

One winter morning, on his way to work, he met a homeless man. He was so hungry and looked so miserable that Johnny took pity on him and decided to take him to his home. The homeless man was really grateful and did all the work around the house. Every day, Johnny came back home, there was a hot meal waiting for him.

You know what I long for? – Johnny said to the homeless man – a good hot chicken soup. Kill one hen and cook the soup for me.

So the homeless man got up in the early morning, took an axe and started wondering which hen is most suitable for his benefactor’s dinner. Suddenly, he noticed a tiny thin cock staggering in the yard. Meh – he said to himself – this cock will be dead in no time. Why waste its meat?

And he chopped off Lilipucik’s head.

Johnny came back home and at the doorstep he felt the delicious smell of a soup. Oh how horrified he was when he saw his beloved little cock boiling in the pot! He didn’t listen to the homeless man’s feeble explanations, he wept and shouted at him. “What did you do?! How could you kill my Lilipucik?!” He threw his things out of the house and told him to go away.

The homeless guy shrugged his shoulders, thought the man was crazy, and went his way. Meanwhile, Johnny stopped weeping, looked again at the pot and felt his own head getting hot with surging fury. He took the axe, still stained with Lilipucik’s blood, got on his bike and followed the homeless guy. Finally, he reached him.

You know what it is? – he said showing him the axe – It’s the same axe you killed my little cock with. My dear Lilipucik, whom I loved so much. Now this very axe will chop off your head.

And he smashed the homeless man in the head.

A few months later, Johnny stands before the court.

It’s your second crime, your second murder – the judge says – you deserve the life sentence. Do you have anything to say in your defense?

It was love, Your Honor. – Johnny says – I did it all for love. I loved my wife so much that I killed her. And I loved my cock so much that I killed the motherfucker who dared to take his life. Without my little cock, life is worthless to me.

Bye my Lilipucik. Bye.

And little Johnny, totally devastated, rots in his cell.

Although there is no script I know the expectation is that I talk about modern Satanism and the online Satanic communities. Which I am a ideal person to have doing so. 

I will talk about that which I am known best for and have chiseled out a name for myself in. But I will only spend so much time doing so. All of my thoughts and opinions on the topic have been put out there in videos, blogs, forums ect. Nothing new. 

I am going to spend most of my time talking about something far more important than Satanism or online satanic communities. Something that has destroyed great souls and crushes life from everyone that stands against it. 

The name was coined by Wilhelm Reich in 1930's. He called it the emotional plague. We are all infected. I am going to point it out and ways I think might be counter to it. 

Other than what I have mentioned is there anything you would want to here me speak about? I would like some suggestions. And I appreciate them in advance. 

Joining me at the consortium are many from SIN. Also prominent figures in their respective fields. Ranging from Luciferians, Pagans, Wiccans, Dark Buddist mons, Shamans, Witch doctors ect ect ect .. Live music, dinner parties, rituals and much more. 

They have rented the top two floors of the Sheridan Hotel in Atlanta including the ballroom. For a entire weekend. 200 rooms have been paid for the guest and presenters/entertainers/ect. This will be off the hook. I will be there. Join us. 

SIN members attending thus far that I know of other than I is Laurie ( host ), Typhon ( host ) , Tessa ( presenter ) Johnny Watts, Mel, Shea Bile ( entertainer ) and several more. 

Here is Shea Bile spoken word.. 

More info can be found on the right sidebar in white on this network.